


Never Let Me Go

by anon7912



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, And Juyeon is just a tattooed dancer looking for love, Blow Jobs, Dry Orgasm, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Heterochromia, Hyunjae is a rich boy/CEO’s son, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, One Shot, Pet Names, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rimming, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon7912/pseuds/anon7912
Summary: Hyunjae is set to inherit Seoul’s biggest entertainment firm, CRKR, and Juyeon is just the guy who used world’s worst pickup line on him in the club.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Sangyeon, Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall/Son Youngjae | Eric, Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Younghoon, Ju Haknyeon/Kim Sunwoo, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 83
Kudos: 519





	Never Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> (Much later) Author’s note: Hello! Thank you for clicking on this fic, and for (maybe) reading it. This is a brief warning that the writing in this work is a little rough — this is the first fic I ever wrote and the first piece of fiction I had written in many years. As such, if you find it slightly unbearable but still want to read JuJae, please check out my profile for other works with slightly less egregious writing!
> 
> I will one day heavily edit this fic, but for now, I don’t have the time and am unwilling to take it down. If this awful author’s note hasn’t deterred you from reading yet (lol), I hope you enjoy!

“Can you hurry the fuck up please?” Hyunjae grumbles on Younghoon’s sofa. He has one leg crossed elegantly over the other as he flips disinterestedly through one of his host’s snobby coffee table books — the one he’s looking at is a thick glossy volume of scantily dressed dancers with charcoal on their faces photographed in black and white. He rolls his eyes. Changmin definitely gifted this to Younghoon, and the two heathens  _definitely_ just enjoy looking at pictures of almost naked men under the pretence of appreciating ‘art’. “You know, this coffee table book of dancers is super gay Younghoonie,” he shouts.

“Shut up, you’re literally the gayest person I know,” Younghoon retorts, coming in as he adjusts his tie. Hyunjae immediately goes to do it for him, knowing how completely lacking in dexterity Younghoon is. It’s been like this since they were boys — even in primary school, Hyunjae always had to adjust Younghoon’s tie before they went into class so that he wouldn’t get scolded for looking “slovenly”. “Thanks Hyunjae-ya,” Younghoon says fondly, watching his best friend fiddle with his collar.

“Yeah yeah,” Hyunjae replies with a smile. At that moment, Younghoon’s doorbell buzzes, and the security feed of his front gate shows a smiling Changmin and Chanhee at the door. Younghoon immediately allows them in, and it’s not a minute later before the two are knocking on the door. As soon as the mahogany door swings open, Changmin is flying into Younghoon’s arms, nuzzling his face into the taller man’s neck. Hyunjae and Chanhee just exchange disgusted looks and melodramatic gagging noises. Then Chanhee pauses and stares at Hyunjae and Younghoon.

“What are you guys wearing?” Chanhee looks appalled. Changmin smirks at him from inside -  _inside? Christ, these two_ \- Younghoon’s suit jacket. “Told you they’d be wearing suits too,” he teases.

“What? What’s wrong with what we’re wearing?” Hyunjae asks, crossly. His suit is a new one from Prada, thank you very much, and above all you can trust Italians with suits. 

Chanhee gives him a scathing look. “We’re going to a club in the arts district, you guys are going to look ridiculous there.” And true to form, Chanhee is wearing a floaty, ethereal blouse over a lacy cropped tank top with skintight leather trousers and platform strappy sandals.

“Well should we go change?” Younghoon asks, totally confused by the situation. “No! You have to stay in suits so I don’t look out of place either,” Changmin quickly says, to which Younghoon responds with a loving kiss on his boyfriend's forehead.

“Okay okay, lets go then,” Chanhee says, gathering his silky kimono jacket. However, Hyunjae stops him with a hand on his elbow. “We’re still waiting for our friend, Sangyeon, he said he’ll be here in a se-”

The doorbell buzzes. “Speak of the devil,” Younghoon murmurs, letting Sangyeon come up. Chanhee obligingly opens the door when there’s a knock only to come face to face with -  _oh_.

Sangyeon is tall, broad shouldered and stoic looking, but his intimidating appearance is entirely belied by the warmth in his brown eyes. The two men stare at each other for a second, and Sangyeon swallows audibly as he drags his eyes down Chanhee’s slender form. “Hi, uh, I’m looking for Younghoon,” Sangyeon croaks. Chanhee, still speechless, moves out of the way to reveal the three friends staring at them with equal parts bemusement and laughter in their eyes.

“Oookay so Sangyeon is sitting next to Chanhee in the taxi, now let’s go,” Changmin says cheekily, narrowly missing Chanhee’s hissing and pinching fingers. “And oh look, he’s wearing a suit too!” he calls, running off.

“Ugh just you wait, Ji Changmin,” Chanhee mutters under his breath darkly.

~~ 

Chanhee’s right, Hyunjae realises belatedly as they step into the warehouse-turned-club. Everyone milling around the dark space is dressed completely differently from him, all donning avant-garde fabrics and colours. They look nothing like the people Hyunjae usually sees at the clubs he goes to with Younghoon, who are all young urban professionals dressed in the latest designer wear. “Told you,” Chanhee chirps beside him, looking pleased.

“Well when you said you had invitations to a club for up and coming artists around the city, I didn’t think you meant  _this_ ,” Younghoon swallows uncomfortably, pulling at his tie. Hyunjae huffs, and grabs his hand, pulling him and the rest of their friends down the steps into the main room. “Guys it’s fine, it’s a club, literally no one cares.” He does, however, care enough about appearances to clap a hand over Sangyeon’s mouth when the older leans over the bar to ask the bartender how to pay for table service, as Chanhee bursts into a fit of giggles beside him.

“Hyung, that’s not a thing here. Come on, I’ll get the first round and you guys find a counter or something to stand at,” Hyunjae shoos them away from the bar. Theres a chorus of thank you’s as they walk away, and Sanyeong looks sheepish but pleased when Chanhee loops their arms together, batting his eyelashes at him.

Hyunjae thinks he can guess what everyone wants, so quickly orders before the bartender loses interest. The bartender passes him his scotch first, which he sips as he waits, eyes roaming over the room. A wave of loneliness washes over him when he spots his friends. Changmin and Younghoon are cuddling sweetly, and Chanhee is effectively hanging off of Sangyeon’s bicep, leaning his pointy little chin on Sangyeon’s broad shoulder. It’s not that he resents them for having people to cuddle and hold, it’s not even that he wants to be a part of a couple necessarily. 

It’s just that when it gets late at night, and Hyunjae has collapsed onto his king sized bed alone after a long day at work, he doesn’t want the expensive bourbon he drowns himself in, and nor do the silky 1000-thread count sheets alleviate the cold emptiness inside him. He misses having someone there, someone solid and warm to curl into at night and to wake up to in the morning. He’s broken out of his reverie when a husky voice intones behind his ear.

“Hey, I think I lost my number, can I have yours?”

The feeling of hot breath on his neck makes him shiver, but Hyunjae scoffs loudly in response. “ _Jesus_ , that’s a line. When’s the last time that worked for you?” he throws scathingly over his shoulder, not even bothering to turn around. The guy behind him laughs delightedly, a loud, bright laugh that feels out of place in the sweaty nightclub. “You’re adorable, kitten,” he coos. Hyunjae rolls his eyes, turning around to ask the man to leave him alone please, when-

His gaze comes crashing into a pair of feline eyes, slanting teasingly at him. What makes his breath catch in his throat, however, is their colour; more than their lovely shape, the man’s eyes are gorgeously mismatched, one eye the familiar dark brown seen on most Koreans, and the other a bright caramel, almost burnished gold under the garish club lights. The guy smirks at him, upturned corners of his mouth lifting to reveal perfectly white teeth. Hyunjae quickly regains his composure and sniffs disdainfully. “Totally uncivilised of you to be hitting on a random guy at a bar,” he snaps.

The man laughs again, his long neck extended gracefully as he throws his head back. “I’ll show you uncivilised if you like,” he murmurs into Hyunjae’s ear, pulling him close. Hyunjae sputters, face burning, but makes no move to push the man away. Unbidden, his cock twitches in his jeans as he feels the man run his nose gently up the side of his neck.

“Stop it, you brute,” he hisses. “You don’t even know my name.”

The guy pulls back, flashing him a suddenly genuine smile sans sexual bravado. “So tell me,” he says, waving down the bartender as he speaks.

Hyunjae grunts with annoyance and rolls his eyes again. The bartender hands the guy an ice-cold beer judging by the perspiration on the side of the bottle, and Hyunjae taps his own scotch glass as a request for a refill. The bartender has clearly forgotten to get his friends’ drinks, but at least he’s on top of the refills, because he’s back not a second later with a fresh glass of scotch. “It’s Lee Jaehyun, but everyone calls me Hyunjae.”

“Imaginative,” the man is smirking at him again. Hyunjae wants to claw that stupid smirk off his face, but because he’s a polite, well-educated young man, he simply sniffs, turning his head regally away before asking, “What’s yours then, genius?”

“I’m Lee Juyeon,” the barbarian responds, taking a slow swig of his beer. Without meaning to, Hyunjae’s eyes follow the line of his Adam’s apple as the man - Juyeon, he supposes - swallows multiple gulps. He bites his lip before he can stop himself, chewing as he stares, eyes travelling to Juyeon’s hands gripping the neck of the bottle and  _Jesus those are sinfully large hands_ , Hyunjae thinks,  _I wonder if it’s true that big hands really mean big di -_

“So how old are you kitten?” Juyeon asks him, looking terribly pleased with the wayHyunjae is ogling him. Hyunjae’s eyes snap back to Juyeon’s, his face flushing at being caught. “I’m 25,” he says haughtily, hoping bravado will cover up his embarrassment. Juyeon’s eyebrows lift in surprise before he grins cheekily at Hyunjae. “Guess I should call you hyung then; I just turned 24 a month ago,” he says. Hyunjae is surprised too — Juyeon looks so much older than himself, with his angular features, tattoos and dark hair, and he would’ve never expected so much confidence to come from someone barely 24. 

Of course,  _he_ was at that age, but that was the result of careful personality manicuring and years of social elegance drummed into him by international private boarding schools. He also doesn’t correct Juyeon’s impertinence for calling him hyung without Hyunjae allowing it, mostly because he can’t be bothered to, but also because Hyunjae maybe secretly likes the way Juyeon’s voice gets a little husky when he does.

“What’s a guy like you using a line like that for?” Hyunjae pivots the conversation, his tone flat to convey precisely how unimpressed he was with Juyeon’s opener. Juyeon gives him a rakish grin and shrugs. “I don’t know, some girl tried it on me once and I thought it was funny, so I wanted to see if it would work on you.” He pauses, thinking. “Hey, what do you mean guy like me?”

Hyunjae can only gawk at him, mortified that that slipped out. “I uh- well it’s- you-” he flounders before realising that Juyeon is grinning at him suggestively and promptly shoves him. “Can you control your hubris for  _just one second_ , you arrogant oaf-”and then he stops because Juyeon has caught his hands and is rubbing circles on his knuckles, still laughing. “Sorry kitten I’ll try, you’re just so fun to rile up. I love the way you blush,” he says softly, almost reverently. Of course, Juyeon complimenting his blush only makes Hyunjae blush harder, so he mutters, “Yes, well...” into his glass with a pleased smile.

“So tell me, what’s a rich boy like  you doing in a club like  this?” Juyeon asks. Hyunjae sputters indignantly for what seems like the nth time that night. “What? You- I’m not- _w_ _hat?!”_ Juyeon laughs again, before giving him what looks to be a sympathetic smile.

“Hyung, you and your friends stick out like sore thumbs.” Hyunjae is about to protest when Juyeon cuts him off, continuing, “Seriously, look around. Do you see anyone in slacks let alone a suit jacket?” Hyunjae immediately flushes, feeling very out place. He looks around for his friends, hoping that they’ll come back to the bar as backup, before Juyeon’s voice interrupts him again. “Hey, I didn’t mean that in an unkind way. I’m sorry if it was, I was only teasing,” he says gently.

“No, it’s fine, I was just checking where my friends were,” Hyunjae responds hastily, feeling bad for being a baby.

“Oh, let me help you find them,” Juyeon says, immediately, standing up tall so he can scan the crowd. Hyunjae puts a hand on his forearm, which he notices belatedly has an enormous python tattoo on it that really looks quite terrifying, quickly stopping him, “No, it’s okay, I’m sure they’re around here somewhere. I’ll find them later.”

Juyeon gives him a look as if to see if he’s sure before shrugging and settling back against the bar. He fixes his eyes on Hyunjae, and after a couple seconds, Hyunjae begins to feel self conscious again. “What? Is there something on my face?” he asks, nervously sipping on his scotch.

“No, I’d just like to kiss you,” Juyeon says bluntly but hopefully, eyes twinkling cheekily at him. Hyunjae promptly chokes on his drink and then he’s having his back patted by Juyeon who’s guffawing loudly. “What the  fuck is wrong with you, you  _heathen_?!” he shrieks between coughs. Juyeon laughs again, full of boyish charm as he responds, “Hey, consent is important!”

“Says the guy who stuck his nose in my hair before telling me his name,” Hyunjae snipes, his cough finally dying down. Juyeon nods thoughtfully, looking a little abashed. “That’s true, I’m sorry for not asking first. What’s my punishment?” he asks teasingly.

Hyunjae stares at him for a second before whispering, “You can...kiss me. If you want.” Even though his brain is sounding alarm bells because Hyunjae hasn’t kissed anyone since breaking up with his ex over six months ago, barely even knows this guy standing in front of him, doesn’t even know if he has mouth herpes or anything gross like that, he still can’t stop the desperate feeling of wanting to be held and loved, even for a moment. Juyeon’s eyes go soft, and then Hyunjae feels a large hand engulfing his jaw, running fingertips up oh so gently until they reach his ear and into his hair. 

Hyunjae whimpers softly, eyes fluttering shut, when he feels Juyeon’s lips slant over his and then suddenly he’s warm inside, flutters erupting in his stomach as he grips Juyeon’s hair with frightening intensity. Juyeon groans into his mouth, a guttural growl that makes Hyunjae’s heart thump loudly, before tracing his tongue over the blonde’s bottom lip, silently asking for permission. He gets it immediately when Hyunjae shoves his own tongue into Juyeon’s mouth, and then they’re making out, gloriously sliding tongues over each other’s in a frantic dance.

When he needs to catch his breath, Juyeon detaches himself to plant open-mouthed kisses along Hyunjae’s pale jaw, down his neck and up his earlobe, biting it softly before laving it with his tongue. Hyunjae can do nothing except hold onto Juyeon’s messy hair for dear life, grinding himself against the other’s hard body as he whimpers pitifully. “ _Fuck,_ dance with me kitten,” Juyeon rasps into Hyunjae’s ear, to which Hyunjae responds with a nod and a whine.

On the dance floor, Hyunjae feels somewhat akin to a small yacht being tossed around a rocky ocean — he has no control over his movements, simply letting Juyeon manipulate the pace and the way their bodies move together. Juyeon dances fluidly to the heavy thump of the bass, like a cat stretching languidly under the sun, but there’s a predatory edge to the way he grips Hyunjae’s hips a little too tightly, and the way he periodically ghosts his lips along Hyunjae’s neck. They’re approximately the same height, maybe a a couple centimetres in difference, but Juyeon makes Hyunjae feel so small and he  loves it. Juyeon, in turn, is relishing the way Hyunjae feels so pliable under his hands, and the little breathy moans he feels on his skin make him want to bite down somewhere, anywhere.

A shot of adrenaline rushes through Hyunjae when he realises Juyeon is as affected as he is by their dancing, so he turns around quickly, finally taking control of their movements. He presses his back to Juyeon, and even though grinding is so not the thing in South Korea, Hyunjae is more than a little buzzed on scotch and Juyeon’s kisses, so he bears down with his hips, pressing his behind into Juyeon brazenly. Juyeon lets out a strangled moan, and then hands are gripping Hyunjae’s hips even tighter, as the dark-haired man presses back.  _That’s gonna bruise_ , Hyunjae thinks deliriously, and suddenly he wants to wear all of Juyeon’s colours on his skin, he’s so high on lust. 

He lifts his chin to rest his head back on Juyeon’s shoulder, baring his neck for the younger man. Juyeon immediately takes the hint, kissing Hyunjae feverishly before sucking and biting down, soothing the spot when he hears Hyunjae’s sharp cry. “Fuck baby,” Juyeon growls into the purple bruise already blossoming on the pale column of Hyunjae’s neck.

Hyunjae simply throws him a lazy smirk, before turning his head to whisper in Juyeon’s ear. “I want to suck you off, Juyeonie,” he murmurs, running a wet tongue over the shell of his ear. Hyunjae giggles when he feels Juyeon’s knees buckle ever so slightly, and then he’s being forcibly dragged off the dance floor to the men’s bathroom. Thankfully, the bathrooms are all separated private rooms, so Juyeon hurriedly pushes Hyunjae into one before slamming him into the door, locking it as he kisses the blonde. They pull back after a while to catch their breath, and the two stare at each other hungrily.  


Under the bright lights of the bathroom, Hyunjae can see Juyeon much more clearly — his dark hair isn’t black like Hyunjae had assumed, but an inky, petrol blue, and his heterochromia looks even more startlingly beautiful than it did in the club. Juyeon is staring at Hyunjae too. His eyes travel from the ash-blonde hair to his hooded brown eyes, button nose, and finally settle on the other man’s lips.  _God_ , Juyeon, the cheesy sap he is, could write a soliloquy about Hyunjae’s lips — the delicate arch, the pretty Cupid’s bow, and his fucking bottom lip that juts out like it’s in an eternal pout. The thought of those lips wrapped around his cock makes Juyeon harder than granite, not that he hasn’t been sporting a hard-on since he watched Hyunjae take his first sip of scotch at the bar. But of course, being the stupid brute he is, he can’t get out words any more eloquent than, “You’re- wow- I mean...uh...”

Hyunjae laughs, offering him a genuine smile as he says, “Yeah...you too.” Juyeon grins back, leaning in to kiss the other softly this time, gentle butterfly kisses dancing over Hyunjae’s lips. Hyunjae melts into Juyeon’s arms, enjoying being doted on when Juyeon presses his mouth to a particular sensitive spot where Hyunjae’s ear connects to his jaw, and he inadvertently lets out a little whimper. There’s a small crash that startles Hyunjae into opening his eyes — Juyeon has just banged his head against the door, groaning out, “ _Jesus,_ your  noises.”

Hyunjae’s heart quivers because he’s never had one of his partners react like this to him before. Emboldened, he skates his lips over Juyeon’s extended neck, nipping him here and lapping there, while Juyeon’s grip on his hips steadily tightens. “Come on, Juyeonie, let hyung suck your cock,” Hyunjae whispers tantalisingly.

“Oh my  _god_ , hyung,” Juyeon groans, twitching violently in his jeans. Hyunjae smirks, turning Juyeon so that he’s the one leaning against the door and gets on his knees. Teasingly slow, he unzips the fly with his teeth, watching Juyeon suck in a sharp breath, before finally pulling the other’s jeans down. “Ooh, Calvin Klein,” he murmurs into the defined V of Juyeon’s hips, as he peels these off too with his teeth. Juyeon’s cock springs out, and Christ if that isn’t a lovely cock, Hyunjae thinks to himself. He’s long and girthy, veins running down the length to come to a dark red tip leaking pre-come incessantly. Hyunjae, being the stupid little size queen he is, hums, pleased, as he laps delicately at Juyeon’s slit, sipping at the pre-come gathered there.

“Ngh  please,” Juyeon groans, hands threading into Hyunjae’s hair. Hyunjae shushes him, running his small hands up and down Juyeon’s length. His fingers barely meet one another when he wraps them around, and Hyunjae dazedly wonders how Juyeon’s magnificent cock would feel inside him. Before he can ponder the thought, however, Juyeon is pulling on his short locks, whining “please” again into the echoey bathroom.

Hyunjae complies, immediately sinking down so that his nose is buried in Juyeon’s tuft of groomed hair. This is his star move, the one that drives all his partners crazy and Juyeon is no exception; a strangled moan escapes him as he hurriedly shoves his fist into his own mouth to muffle the his panting groans, making Hyunjae in turn feel absolutely drunk with power and arousal. He sets a bruising pace after that, bobbing his head and flicking his tongue around the veiny length, while both his hands pump mercilessly as he gulps. 

When he looks up, Juyeon is staring at him with hooded cat-eyes, the golden one a dark burnt caramel, pupils blown. He’s gritting his teeth as he watches Hyunjae plunder his own mouth with his cock, trying hopelessly to stem the flow of words that are itching to spill out. He loses the battle swiftly, when Hyunjae gives a particularly punishing suck, his cock spitting pre-come helplessly into Hyunjae’s hot little mouth.

“ _Fuck_ , kitten you look so fucking good with your lips wrapped around my cock,” he rasps, stroking Hyunjae’s hollowed out cheeks as he bobs up and down. “God, your mouth is so  _pretty_ , baby, so -  _ungh_ \- prettily sucking me off like a good kitten,” he continues, unable to stop himself from rambling. Hyunjae can only whine in response, eyes fluttering shut at the intense pleasure shooting through him as he listens to Juyeon’s praise. Juyeon notices, grunting, “ _Shit baby_ , you like that? You like it when I tell you how good you are -  _fuck_ \- what a good boy you’re being for me?” The fingers tenderly stroking his hair are a painfully arousing contrast to the filthy words spilling out of Juyeon’s mouth, and Hyunjae helplessly whimpers, his own cock so hard it  _hurts_.

Juyeon’s gripping his head a little harder now, hips stuttering as he tries to control himself from ramming his cock down Hyunjae’s throat. Hyunjae pulls off for a second, lips swollen and shiny with spit to whisper, “You can fuck my mouth if you want.” Juyeon stares at him with wild eyes before hauling him up to kiss him hard on his mouth. Hyunjae whines loudly into his lips, hips twitching as he feels the amazing friction of Juyeon’s thigh against his cock, and then Juyeon is whispering raggedly back, “Are you sure baby?” Hyunjae, too aroused to even form words, only nods frantically before sinking back down to his knees and stuffing Juyeon’s cock into his mouth again. Juyeon hisses a loud “Fuck,” thrusting his cock down Hyunjae’s throat at a frightening speed, wet noises escaping helplessly from Hyunjae’s mouth.

It’s not long before Juyeon is tugging frantically at Hyunjae’s hair, whispering hoarsely, “H-hyung, you gotta pull off, baby, I’m gonna come.” Hyunjae doesn’t respond, just keeps his lips firmly latched onto Juyeon’s twitching cock, giving him a determined look, and Juyeon moans thickly, throwing his head back when he realises what Hyunjae intends to do. Hyunjae watches him, mesmerised, as Juyeon’s throat swallows convulsively, dark blue hair splayed messily around his sharp cheekbones. Juyeon seems unable to stem the flow of his rambling as he gets closer to coming, panting out words that make Hyunjae’s hips cant up with arousal.

“ _Jesus_ hyung your mouth feels so good, so pretty like that baby, such a _good_ fucking kitten taking my cock. _God_ I’m gonna come-” 

And then Juyeon is coming down Hyunjae’s throat in thick, salty spurts, and Hyunjae can barely swallow fast enough before some of it leaks out of the side of his pretty lips, but he can only focus on the way Juyeon’s mouth has fallen open in the loveliest moan and how the elegant arch of his brow is furrowed when his eyes squeeze shut. Hyunjae laves at his cock with his tongue until Juyeon stops coming, then proceeds to suck him clean while Juyeon whines, hips twitching with over-sensitivity. 

When Hyunjae finally pulls off, he tucks Juyeon back into his boxer briefs. He tries to help  pull Juyeon's jeans up but Juyeon bats his hand away when he fiddles with his belt, and kisses him ferociously instead. His tongue laps into Hyunjae’s mouth almost lovingly it seems —  although that might be Hyunjae’s lust-addled mind talking.

Juyeon ghosts his massive hand gently over the obviously straining bulge in Hyunjae’s slacks, causing him to cry out softly as he grips Juyeon’s shoulders so hard his knuckles turn white. “Shit sorry to leave you hanging like that,” Juyeon murmurs tenderly. “I’ll take care of you kitten.” Hyunjae can only respond by helplessly canting his hips into Juyeon’s hand.

Suddenly, the two of them hear knocking off in the distance, and Chanhee’s voice is calling his name. Hyunjae could cry with disappointment, scrabbling his hands at Juyeon’s shoulders. “Damn it, my friends are looking for me,” he whines, so turned on he can taste it in the back of his throat.

“That’s a shame, I was kind of hoping I could eat you out, hyung,” Juyeon murmurs into his ear, and then Hyunjae is full-on sobbing because he’s  so _hard_ and so close to coming if Juyeon would just -

Like an angel, Juyeon’s hand deftly slips his fly down, grasps his cock and strokes firmly down. Hyunjae has to muffle his shriek by biting down on Juyeon’s shoulder, making the other grunt, because he can hear Chanhee getting closer and closer. He keens desperately, bucking as quickly as he can into Juyeon’s warm hand, as Juyeon croons softly into his hair, “Sh pretty baby, it’s okay, I’m going to take care of you okay? Come on now kitten, I’m going to make you feel so good, gonna make you come for being so good to me.” Hyunjae shrieks helplessly into Juyeon’s shoulder, hips convulsing when Juyeon orders him roughly to “come _now_ ,  baby” as he sobs out his release, “Oh my g-oh my god, I can’t  _oh fuck,_ I can’t oh - _oh - OH!_ ”

And Juyeon, sweet, sweet, Juyeon, is rocking him through his climax, whispering praises into his ear, calling him  _kitten, such a pretty boy, so pretty when you come for me hyung_ , as his hand continues to pump mercilessly. When Hyunjae is shivering and twitching from his nerve-endings being completely frayed, Juyeon quiets his whimpering with soft kisses all over his lips, cheeks and eyelids, as he cleans him up quickly with tissues and warm water from the tap. Just as he’s zipping up Hyunjae’s fly, they both hear a knocking on the door.

“Hyunjae-ya, I know you’re in one of these stalls, can you please come out already so we can go?” Chanhee shouts crossly.

“I-I’m here,” Hyunjae croaks, his vocal cords ragged. “Just give me a sec.” He turns to look at himself in the foggy bathroom mirror, and even though his mouth is swollen red, his eyes are glassy and there’s the faintest tear streak running down his face, he’s glowing and he looks happier than he has in a while. Quickly, he rubs at the tear streak and tries to straighten out his hair so that it doesn’t look like someone’s been gripping it for the last twenty minutes as he goes down on th- okay not going there, he thinks, grinning to himself. His eyes meet Juyeon’s in the mirror, and his returning grin and sparkling eyes make Hyunjae a little giddy.

Just as Chanhee begins thumping on the door again, Hyunjae throws it open, hurriedly pushing Chanhee away so that he doesn’t see Juyeon. “Okay okay, I’m here now, let’s go. Did you call the Uber?”

“Yeah, Sangyeon-hyung did, but where did you disappear to for so lo-” Hyunjae is unable to stop Chanhee from turning around quickly enough, and Chanhee stops dead in his tracks when he sees Juyeon walk out of the same stall. Juyeon, realising he’s been caught, holds his hand up in greeting, smiling a little awkwardly but looking terribly amused by the whole situation. “Hi, I’m J-”

“Just leaving! He’s just leaving!” Hyunjae shouts over him. “As are we in fact, isn’t that right Chanchan?” Chanhee stares dumbly at Juyeon, pretty mouth hanging open, when his eyes slide inadvertently down to Juyeon’s fly and belt, which are completely undone. Juyeon catches the movement of his gaze, and hurriedly zips, biting his lips to stop himself from laughing. “Oh my  _god_ ,” Hyunjae groans, finally tugging Chanhee away, one hand covering his eyes in abject mortification.

“Bye hyung, it was nice meeting you!” Juyeon shouts after them, his husky voice breaking out into laughter.

“You- I- what the fuck?!” Chanhee’s face is bright red, but certainly not redder than Hyunjae’s. “Oh my god, I’m telling everyone in the car about this.”

~~

When Hyunjae finally crashes onto the large bed in Younghoon’s guest room (after a very thorough shower at Younghoon’s behest), he can’t help but bite his lip as he thinks about the night’s events. Of course, Chanhee being the whiny little brat he is spilled everything to everyone in the Uber home. Hyunjae spent the rest of the night fielding screamed questions about his “lover” ( _vom_ ) while simultaneously gagging at Chanhee and Sangyeon making out passionately in the back seat ( _double vom_ ). When they asked if he’s going to see his “lover” again (Hyunjae refused to tell them Juyeon’s name), he realised with a start that he never even got Juyeon’s phone number. Flippantly, to cover up the wave of disappointment he felt, he retorted, “Don’t be ridiculous, it was a one time thing.” Unbeknownst to him, his friends exchanged knowing looks when he slumped down in his seat for the rest of the ride back.

As he’s laying alone in bed though, his fingers are itching to pick up his phone and look Juyeon up. Of course, it’s a long shot that he’d even find him, with Seoul being as big as it is. Plus, he thinks, there’s no need to make a bigger deal out of this than it is. It was a one night stand, he tells himself firmly, nothing more. Not for the first time,Hyunjae wishes he was the kind of person who could just have a fling without feeling emotionally attached afterwards. He rolls over onto his pillow, annoyed, determinedly closing his eyes to will himself to sleep.

~~

He’s not here looking for Juyeon, he’s not here looking for Juyeon, he repeats to himself the next day as he wanders the art district. Hyunjae berates himself for the fifth time that day for this stupid idea, for coming back out to the art district when he’s hungover and poorly dressed just to look for someone who probably won’t even be there. He has walked past the warehouse three times now, as if foolishly hoping that Juyeon will magically spring up out of nowhere, exactly where he found him last night. Shaking his head, Hyunjae decides to go home; his feet are sore, and his throat is dry from dehydration, and he’s so  _so_ disappointed.

As he dejectedly walks down the street, he passes by a cosy looking pet store. The sweetest calico kitten is staring at him through the window, and he forgets his disappointment for a second when he places his hand on the window to stare at the cat. The cat’s eyes, he notices with a start, are mismatched with one blue and one gold. The golden colour reminds Hyunjae of Juyeon so much that his stomach clenches a little, although he scolds himself internally for being a stupid sap. His legs carry him into the store of their own volition, bringing him to right in front of the cat’s little window. “You’re so cute sweetheart, what kind of cat are you hm?” he croons.

“There’s a sign, it says she’s a Japanese Bobtail,” an amused voice says behind him. “Well I clearly didn’t see the sign yet did I, genius,” Hyunjae replies crossly. He’s too hungover to be dealing with snarky pet store workers, and he’s about to say exactly that when he turns around and comes crashing into -

“Juyeon,” he breathes. “I- I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Juyeon gives him a smile that makes him feel like it’s a warm spring day instead of the blustery autumn it really is. “I know, this is really quite serendipitous huh,” he says softly, eyes raking over Hyunjae’s face. “What’re you doing here, Hyunjae-hyung?” he asks.

Hyunjae pauses awkwardly, unsure of what to say. I was looking for you? I wanted to come find you because I can’t stop thinking about you? You gave me the best handjob of my life and I wanted to come thank you and build you a shrine so that people may kneel at it for generations to come? Juyeon seems to realise the turmoil in Hyunjae’s head because he smirks knowingly, murmuring, “Ah, I see.”

Hyunjae’s eyes fly to his teasing ones, face on fire. “Stop it you stupid lout, you’re so obnoxious!” Juyeon ducks with a laugh to avoid his flying hand. Instead, he catches it quickly, pressing a kiss to Hyunjae’s fingers that makes his heart stutter. 

“I’m glad you’re here. I would’ve done the same if I had any idea where you were from.” Hyunjae feels the tips of his ears go red, pulling his hand away with an embarrassed “Yah”.

“What’re you buying there?” he asks, to distract from his blush. “Just cat food,” Juyeon replies. “I’m a little low and my cat is such a princess that she’d claw my eyes out if I gave her even a grain less than usual.”

Hyunjae coos excitedly, “Oh you have a cat! So cute, what kind is she?”

“A little Birman kitten,” Juyeon replies with a fond smile. “Here, this is a picture of her.” He passes his phone to Hyunjae, and Hyunjae sees a picture of the sweetest kitten with big blue eyes. “Birman cats sort of look like really fluffy Persian cats. Her name’s Inna, I only adopted her a few months ago when I found her in a cardboard box on the street.” Hyunjae listens as Juyeon rambles on excitedly about his pet, watching his expressions change with tender wonder.

As he’s paying for the food, he suddenly turns around, “Hey you wanna come up and meet her?” Hyunjae is startled into tripping over his own words. “Uh m-me? You want me to come up and meet your cat?”

Juyeon gives him an amused smile, “Yeah, but only if you want to. No pressure.”

“Yeah, I’d love to! Here let me grab some things for her,” Hyunjae quickly dashes around the small store, picking up things that catch his eye, ignoring Juyeon’s protests that he doesn’t have to. “How could I not?” he asks as he’s paying, “I can’t come to your house as a guest and not bring her a present.”

“Well where’s my present then?” Juyeon asks cheekily. “My presence is enough of a present for you,” comes the flippant response, and Juyeon laughs at the word play because ‘Hyunjae’ really does mean present (tense) in Korean.

As they walk out of the store towards the outskirts of town, even though the day is foggy and there’s a chill in the air, Hyunjae feels inexplicably warm inside. “So tell me what you do,” Juyeon says to him, looking particularly handsome with his hair brushed out of his face under a beanie. “My dad is actually the CEO of an entertainment company, so I’ll probably take over from him in the next couple of years, but for now I’m just heading up the music branch,” Hyunjae responds, feeling a bit awkward. He doesn’t know what Juyeon does for a living yet, and so doesn’t want to come off like a privileged brat working at daddy’s firm, but Juyeon merely gives him a warm smile like the thought never even crossed his mind. 

“That’s cool, do you like your job?”

And he does, he really does, so he unconsciously becomes animated talking about all the exciting projects he’s worked on recently, not noticing the adoring look Juyeon has fixed him with. When he realises he’s been talking for fifteen minutes straight while Juyeon only interjects with thoughtful mm’s and impressed noises, he stops short, feeling sheepish. “Sorry for talking your ear off, what do you do?”

“You weren’t, I really like hearing about your job,” Juyeon says kindly. “I do a little of this, a little of that, but I mostly dance for a living,” he hedges around the subject.

“Oh wow. Do you perform live ever?” Hyunjae asks. Juyeon gives him a look he can’t quite pinpoint before quickly responding, “Yeah sometimes. I actually have a performance coming up next year that I’m preparing for.”

Hyunjae’s about to ask him more about it when he stops in front of a door to a warehouse, pulling out a key fob. “This is me,” he says, unlocking the door. They step in and Hyunjae is speechless. The large skylights flood the house with what little sunlight is out, and there’s lush green plants all over the place, twisting their vines up the exposed brick and wooden beams. Even though the floor is a smooth concrete, the worn rugs scattered around make the place feel warm, as does all the personal affects that litter the place. He’s marvelling at the beauty of Juyeon’s house when he feels soft fur brushing against his ankle. Hyunjae looks down to see the prettiest kitten he’s ever seen, sniffing at his paper bag full of goodies for her.

“This is Inna, hyung. Inna say hello to your new hyung,” Juyeon tells the cat fondly. “Hi sweetheart,” Hyunjae says, reaching his fingers out for Inna to sniff.

“She can be a little shy at first, so if she doesn’t warm up right away, don’t be offended,” Juyeon says from the kitchen where he’s putting Inna’s food away in the pantry cupboard. Hyunjae reaches into his bag and grabs one of the treats he bought - organic tuna fish crackers - and gently feeds one to Inna. She laps it right up, before purring contentedly, sniffing around for more. Hyunjae sits so that he can pet her, and she immediately jumps into his lap, stroking his face with her tail. Behind him, he hears Juyeon tsk. “You’re kidding, you warm right up to him when it took me weeks to get you to cuddle? Such a little brat,” Juyeon mutters, pretend-cross at his pet.

Inna just gives him an unimpressed meow before turning her attention back to Hyunjae. Hyunjae grabs a pink mouse chew toy and dangles it in front of the kitten, who immediately goes to grab at it with her tiny paws. There’s a period of silence punctuated only by Inna’s playful mewing when finally Juyeon throws himself down on the soft carpet next to Hyunjae moaning, “Ugh it’s just my luck that I find two princesses who are more enamoured with each other than they are with me.” Hyunjae laughs and cards his slender fingers through Juyeon’s dark hair, cooing softly, “Aw poor baby, do you need more attention?”

“Yes,” Juyeon pouts and fuck if that isn’t the cutest pout Hyunjae has ever seen. Before he can think too much of it, he leans down to give Juyeon’s downturned mouth a kiss. He’s surprised by his own boldness, as is Juyeon by the looks of it, but then he’s grinning and pulling Hyunjae down to kiss him properly, immediately sliding his tongue over Hyunjae’s bottom lip as he threads his fingers behind his neck. “Mm, I almost forgot how good you taste kitten,” he groans into the blonde’s mouth. Hyunjae can only moan back, reaching down to slip his hands under Juyeon’s shirt so that he can touch him properly when -

“ _Meow!_ ” Inna’s indignant mew makes them look down to see her half-trapped between their arms. Juyeon laughs as he rolls backwards so that she can get free. She rewards him with an annoyed nip - “Ow Inna!” - and gives Hyunjae a prim lick on his ankle before sauntering away to play with her new toy. Juyeon huffs with amused exasperation, griping about how his cat likes Hyunjae more just because he bought her  _organic_ tuna snacks instead of regular store brand tuna snacks. When Hyunjae doesn’t respond, Juyeon turns his head to see him biting his finger, an embarrassed but pleased expression on his face. “C’mere,” Juyeon says, grabbing Hyunjae bodily and hauling him so that he’s laying on top of his chest. Hyunjae can do nothing except squawk inelegantly as he’s settled unceremoniously like a rag doll, giving Juyeon a half-hearted smack on his bicep.

In the daylight, the two relearn each other’s faces. Juyeon looks younger now, the slight tan in his skin giving him a youthful glow, Hyunjae muses. He traces his finger down Juyeon’s arm, skimming it lightly over the protruding veins down to his hand while the other hums contentedly. Hyunjae fiddles with Juyeon’s numerous rings as he plays with his hands. “I like these,” he mumbles. “I really like the way you dress; it’s so different from anyone I know.” And it’s true, because Juyeon makes a tattered T-shirt and large bomber jacket look so effortlessly elegant, even if Hyunjae has always steadfastly believed that anything short of a suit was goofy on adult men.

Juyeon smiles fondly, saying, “I like the way you dress too, hyung.” Hyunjae raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow skeptically. “Do you?” he asks, archly. And Juyeon can only laugh, because they’re dressed like polar opposites; even though Hyunjae is wearing his most casual clothes, they’re still designer chinos and an expensive fisherman’s sweater that he has cuffed just so to reveal his luxury watch. “I do! You look like one of those rich private school kids I used to get wet dreams about,” Juyeon laughs. 

Hyunjae face goes from pale to fire-engine-red in negative two seconds, as he buries his head in his hands. “Oh my  _god_ , I cannot believe you just said that. Were you raised by wolves?” he cries. Juyeon’s barking laughter doesn’t really convince him otherwise, as he pries his hands gently away from Hyunjae’s face, giving him a sweet kiss on the nose.

“I’m exhausted,” he says with a yawn, when he’s finally done being the uncouth ruffian he is. “Wanna take a nap?” he asks, eyes already closed. And Hyunjae is so tempted to say yes because more than anything, he’s missed the intimacy of having a partner. Disregarding sex, late at night when he’s all alone, it’s cuddling he craves, the warmth of another human soul touching his as he falls asleep that he so fervently desires. 

But he can’t, not when his friends are waiting for him to come back for a very late brunch, and not when he doesn’t have the emotional capacity to get his hopes up only for his heart to be broken by yet another stranger. So instead shakes his head forlornly, “Sorry, I can’t, I made plans with some friends.”

Juyeon’s eyes immediately spring open, and he looks so disappointed that Hyunjae almost caves. “Oh, okay. When can I see you again?” he asks, threading his fingers through Hyunjae’s, and Hyunjae feels like he could choke on how perfect his hands feel in Juyeon’s and how much he’s missed easy affection like this. He clears his throat. “Uh, I don’t know but I guess you can have my number?”

Juyeon looks conflicted, and asks, “Are you sure? You don’t have to give it to me, please don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to,” because of course Juyeon is so unbelievably fucking sweet and considerate, so irritatingly perfect in the way he cares about Hyunjae even though they literally met last night. “I’m sure, here, put your number in,” he says, thrusting his phone into Juyeon’s hand.

Hyunjae tried to memorise the way Juyeon’s lips curl into a relieved smile as he taps his number into Hyunjae’s phone, the way his eyes crinkle, and the way he leans so casually on one arm looking like Adonis in military boots.

“Here, I’ll walk you out,” he says, holding his hand out to help Hyunjae up. “How did you get here? Do you need me to call you a taxi?” Hyunjae stands, starting, “I just Ubered but I can call one myse-” before Juyeon cuts him off by calling one swiftly on his own phone. “Don’t, I just got one, she’ll be here in two minutes,” he says with a dazzling smile. By the time Hyunjae is being helped into the car, Juyeon has handed him a home-brewed coffee in a reusable to-go cup, wrapped a pale grey scarf around his neck because he “looked cold”, told him that he “can return it whenever, or not, whatever”, and given him a kiss on the forehead, all within the span of a minute and a half.

Dazed, Hyunjae sits in the car, hands gripping the cup of undeniably delicious coffee and smiles like a fucking idiot. He doesn’t tell his friends where he’s been for the past few hours, and they don’t press it because they’re all hungover and groggy, so he gets to mull over what his first text to Juyeon will be all day, smiling secretively to himself every once in a while. 

~~

But he doesn’t text Juyeon. The first twelve hours he tells himself that he doesn’t text because he’s with his friends and didn’t have time to write up a good first message. The next twelve hours, he was sleeping of course, and then the following day, he still hadn’t texted because...well, it’s hard to say why. It’s hard to face the fact that Hyunjae knows he’s scared, scared of falling hard and getting hurt, and scared of not being strong enough to go through it all again. He doesn’t text Juyeon because it’s easier to pretend that he was a delightful figment of his imagination that he conjured up one weekend from being so achingly lonely, instead of an actual human being who could just as easily make Hyunjae deliriously happy as he could irreconcilably break him. So Hyunjae doesn’t text Juyeon, lets his phone sit in his pocket like a heavy weight instead, the image of Juyeon’s smile as he enters his number burned into the back of his eyelids.

~~

It’s Wednesday. Hyunjae  _hates_ Wednesdays, always has because it’s the middle of the week and he’s ridden off the high of the weekend but Friday is still too far away to get excited about it. This week he also hates Wednesdays because it’s been exactly four days since he saw Juyeon, which means it has also been exactly four days since he was supposed to text him.

The morning starts off terribly, as it always does on Wednesday. Hyunjae leaves his coffee on the heat for too long so he burns it, and he valiantly tries to swallow the acrid liquid before spitting it out. Then he ties his tie on back to front, and doesn’t notice until he’s gotten out of his car and his personal assistant, Kevin, smirks at him, pointing meaningfully to his own tie. To round it all off, his computer crashes, and he has to stand there tapping his foot impatiently while IT reboots it, only to realise all of his morning’s work is lost. 

By 1 PM, he’s irritable and snappy, and can see all of his employees whispering to each other about how their boss is particularly pissy this Wednesday. He decides to give up and take a break by going to the cafe below his office building with the reusable coffee cup Juyeon gave him to buy himself a caramel latte, even though he never gets syrups in his coffee. He  _definitely_ doesn’t want caramel in it today because Juyeon’s one eye was that colour the night they - nope that’s definitely not why.

When the barista calls his name, he gratefully takes a sip of the coffee, relishing the way it slides down his throat, but his thoughts, unbidden, turn to the taste of Juyeon’s coffee that he drank as he drove away, and he can’t help but think the other tasted just a little bit better.

“Hyunjae-hyung?” A husky voice asks from behind him.

Hyunjae whips around, coming face to face with Juyeon holding an iced Americano. Unconsciously, he rakes his eyes appreciatively over the younger man; in a cafe full of pale-faced men in expensive suits, Juyeon stands out in stark contrast with a thick aviator jacket thrown over his shoulders and his worn out military boots. “Juyeon! What’re you doing here?” he exclaims.

Juyeon shrugs, flashing him a smirk as he bites down on his straw, all canines and no reservedness. “An agent I occasionally work with has his office in the area - I just finished a meeting with him so I decided to treat myself to coffee.”

Hyunjae nods slowly, sipping on his latte. “That’s cool.”

“So how come I haven’t heard from you since Saturday?” Juyeon asks, leaning over a standing table. Hyunjae shifts from foot to foot, and all of a sudden, Juyeon retreats, realisation dawning on his face. “Oh crap, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You obviously have no obligation to text me, I must’ve completely misread your signals. I’m really sorry if I was too pushy, I’ll leave you alone,” he rushes to say with his hands up. He picks his coffee up as if to leave, when Hyunjae hurriedly grabs his hand.

“No no that’s not it at all! I just...” he trails off embarrassed. Juyeon cocks his head to one side, inquisitive. “I was trying to think of a good first text and psyched myself out, okay?” Hyunjae mumbles, face on fire. He doesn’t mention the cold fear he feels in the pit of his stomach every time he thinks about the prospect of someone leaving him, nor does he mention the fact that he’s been burned just one too many times to have the bravery to put himself out there again.

Juyeon, oblivious to Hyunjae’s inner turmoil, immediately bursts out into laughter, running his hand through his navy hair. Hyunjae shoves him unceremoniously, hissing, “Shut up, asshole! So annoying.” As Juyeon continues to cackle like a stupid hyena, Hyunjae steels himself before asking tentatively, “Would- would you like to come up to my office?” He has to jump sometime he decides, and there, standing with Juyeon in the cramped coffee shop, seems like a good a time as ever.

Juyeon stops laughing and smiles at him so brightly that Hyunjae feels his insides spontaneously turn to goo because oh wow is that smile like liquid sunshine and Hyunjae could just -

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Juyeon breathes, taking Hyunjae’s hand to walk out of the coffee shop.

Hyunjae happily lets Juyeon’s large hand engulf his, his heart warm from the caramel latte as well as Juyeon’s presence. Walking into the office building is another story, however, and it’s like a cold bucket of water is dumped onto Hyunjae’s head. Everyone is staring, wondering who the CEO’s son is holding hands with and why he looks absolutely nothing like any of the men Hyunjae has brought to the office before. It’s not so much that Hyunjae’s gay, because everyone has known that for years now, as it is the fact that Juyeon’s inky hair stands out in stark contrast within a sea of natural hair colours, or that Juyeon’s tattoos, earrings and multiple rings juxtapose sharply with Hyunjae’s own clean cut appearance. As subtly as he can, Hyunjae lets go of Juyeon’s hand, ignoring Juyeon’s questioning look valiantly.

When they get off the lift and step into Hyunjae’s office, Juyeon whistles at the view. You can see all of Seoul from his floor-to-ceiling windows, and Juyeon stares out into the expanse, his face bathed by the soft afternoon light. “I love your view, hyung,” he murmurs, eyes fixed on the landscape.

Hyunjae, who’s seen this view a thousand times and who barely even notices it anymore, simply watches Juyeon with his face illuminated like the heavens have parted for him alone, and replies, “Yeah, it’s pretty nice.” Juyeon throws him a smile over his shoulder and goes to sit on the large leather chair in front of Hyunjae’s desk.

“This is cool, I sort of feel like I’m at the principle’s office,” Juyeon laughs.

Playing along, Hyunjae goes to sit in his own chair, placing his elbows on the desk. “Yeah? Have you been bad Lee Juyeon?” he asks, eyebrows raised in a teasing manner.

“Only if you want me to be, kitten,” Juyeon fires back immediately, giving him a lascivious wink with his golden eye. Hyunjae sputters indignantly. “ _Utterly_ shameless, absolutely no sense of propriety,” he declares heatedly as he feels his traitorous body warm with arousal. Suddenly, his office door flies open, and Younghoon comes ambling in, long legs clothed in a perfectly pressed Italian suit.

“Yah, Lee Hyunjae, why haven’t you been returning my texts? I feel so forsaken,” he moans dramatically, stopping short in surprise when he sees Juyeon sitting in the chair in front of Hyunjae’s large oak desk. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were in a meeting. Who’s this?”

Juyeon stands to introduce himself, large hand extended. “Hi, I’m Lee Juyeon, I was just-”

“He’s interviewing for the security guard job,” Hyunjae blurts out. His heart thuds painfully the second those words come out of his mouth, but he could no less have stopped them from spilling out than he could command the clouds to part for the sun. Juyeon’s head whips around in surprise, warm eyes looking mortified for a second before they flatten out into a cool, dull gaze.

“Yes,” he intones in agreement, staring impassively at Hyunjae for a second before turning back to Younghoon.

Younghoon, as dense as the pounds of bread he eats daily, completely misses the tension in the room, goes to shake Juyeon’s hand eagerly. “It’s great to meet you! I’m Kim Younghoon, Hyunjae and I grew up together, and I’m the VP-to-be at CRKR. Woah, you’ve got massive hands!” he exclaims, amusedly turning Juyeon’s hand this way and that while they’re in the middle of a handshake.

“Well, don’t let me interrupt, I’ll just sit here,” Younghoon continues, walking over to lounge gracefully on one of Hyunjae’s plush leather sofas. Hyunjae clears his throat awkwardly, trying to make eye contact with Juyeon, but Juyeon has his eyes fixed steadily on a spot beside Hyunjae’s head.

“So...what makes you think you’ll be a good fit for the company?” he asks weakly. His mouth seems insistent on keeping up the paltry charade, even though his brain is screaming at him to take it all back.

“I probably won’t, I don’t exactly fit the company image,” Juyeon responds flatly. Hyunjae’s eyes dart to the enormous python tattoo writhing on his arm as Juyeon flexes his hands tensely. Before he can disagree, however, Younghoon chimes in.

“Nonsense! You look great! A suit will cover all of your tattoos, and the little one on your finger only makes you look more intimidating. We can always put some makeup on it if someone really important comes around, but it’s no big deal,” Younghoon smiles encouragingly at Juyeon, his soft, good looking appearance in sharp relief against Juyeon’s own striking, angular features.

“Yes yes, I agree,” Hyunjae mumbles. “We should probably continue this interview in private though,” he says hurriedly, trying to get Younghoon out of the room so he can  _just explain_ himself to Juyeon.

Juyeon looks like he’s about to disagree when Younghoon whines, “Aw come on, he’s clearly perfect for the job and our lunch reservations are waiting.”

“Yes but -”

“You can’t keep blowing me off for our date, Hyunjae-ya,” Younghoon says crossly, and Hyunjae could  _strangle_ him for saying that. Juyeon has no idea Younghoon is happily in love with his long-time boyfriend Changmin, and now he thinks Younghoon and Hyunjae are a couple, which they are  _not_.

“No worries, you can let me know your decision by email. It was nice to meet you, Kim Younghoon-ssi,” Juyeon gets up, slinging his heavy aviator jacket over his shoulder. Younghoon tsks happily at him, “No need to be so formal, you can just call me hyung! I assume we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

Anyone else, Hyunjae thinks, would have stormed out of the office already after having their dignity so rudely trampled upon, but Juyeon is different. For all of his tough external appearance, he’s undeniably gentlemanly, soft-spoken and polite. That’s why instead of a grunt and a slammed door, Juyeon smiles at Younghoon, bows to them both and closes the door softly behind him.

“He seemed nice!” Younghoon exclaims, coming to lean elegantly against Hyunjae’s desk. “A little quiet but nice. We’re hiring him right?”

Hyunjae has no response other than to let out a strangled scream into his small hands.

“What, what? Why’re you doing that Hyunjae-yah?” Younghoon asks, alarmed.

“I just- didn’t - it wasn’t really an interv- I don’t want to _hire_ him,” Hyunjae chokes out, grabbing his perfectly swept back hair agitatedly.

“What? Jeez then don’t hire him, it’s not a big deal Hyunjae-yah, there’s no need to be so dramatic,” Younghoon responds, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, can we go? I wasn’t joking when I said our reservations were waiting.”

“No, you go ahead without me, I have to go do something.” And with that, he’s shrugging on his suit jacket, tearing out of the office with Younghoon’s exasperated whine following him.

“Yah! Are you serious? Ugh rich boys, so fucking capricious,” Younghoon mutters, pulling out his phone to text Changmin to go to the restaurant with him instead.

Hyunjae races out of the building as fast as his legs can carry him, looking wildly around for Juyeon. People are staring at him, the normally perfectly pristine CEO’s son looking uncharacteristically disheveled, but he pays them no mind because there, in the distance, he sees Juyeon’s tall silhouette, his head bowed and hands in his pockets.

“Juyeon! Juyeon!” he shouts, racing after him. Miraculously, even though he’s so far away, Juyeon’s head perks up and he turns to look for Hyunjae. He’s stopped on the pavement, his languid pose belied by the frustration Hyunjae can see in his mismatched eyes. He finally reaches Juyeon, panting with his hands on his knees when he stops short in front of him.

“I- I-,” he can barely get his words out between his huffs. “I didn't-”

“Listen, don’t worry about it,” Juyeon says, putting a hand on his shoulder, offering him a tight smile. “Clearly we weren’t on the same page, and that’s okay. Don’t feel like you owe me anything, hyung, there’s no pressure, honestly.”

Hyunjae’s heart thuds loudly, not from the running, but from how, even after being absolutely humiliated in front of someone else, Juyeon still puts him first by trying to alleviate his guilt. “No no, that’s not it, I promise! It was so stupid, it just slipped out,” Hyunjae blurts.

Juyeon watches him phlegmatically for a moment, eyes unblinking before he responds. “Hyunjae-hyung, I think I’ve made my intentions pretty clear. I’m obviously really keen on you but I’m not really interested in pretending to be something I’m not. It’s okay if this was just a one-time-thing for you. Besides, Younghoon-hyung seems a lot more compatible with your life than I am, so I think you should give him a chance.”

“Younghoon’s just a friend! He was goofing around calling our lunch a ‘date’, he has a long term boyfriend,” Hyunjae hurries to explain. The other man’s brow clears a fraction before darkening again.

“Look, whatever the explanation is for what happened in there, it’s fine. I’m not angry at you or anything, so I really don’t want you to feel bad,” Juyeon reaches out as if to touch Hyunjae’s hair but quickly catches himself and goes to stuff his hand back into his pocket.

Hyunjae’s heart falls when he notices Juyeon’s movement. He quickly grabs Juyeon’s wrist, and pulls him close. “Please, don’t go. It was a shitty thing for me to say and I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know why I did it. Please, you have to believe me,” he feels his eyes pricking with tears, so scared that Juyeon will disappear out of his life, just like every one of his other partners did.

Juyeon hears the small crack in Hyunjae’s voice, sees him blinking back -  _were those tears?_ \- and feels his resolve crumble to powdery dust. He pulls the older in, holding him tightly. “Hey, hey don’t cry. It’s not a big deal, honestly,” he soothes, stroking Hyunjae’s wind-blown hair.

“I just- don’t want you to go. I really like you,” he hears Hyunjae murmur into his neck. Juyeon’s spirits soar, and he lets out a disbelieving but relieved chuckle. “I like you too, kitten.” He feels Hyunjae shiver minutely in his embrace, which makes him realise just how poorly dressed for the weather Hyunjae is. Juyeon swiftly shrugs off his jacket and wraps him in it; even though they’re almost the same height, Hyunjae’s smaller frame makes him look tiny under the thick shearling, which Juyeon finds so endearing. Hyunjae sniffs delicately at the collar, pleased with the way Juyeon’s scent envelopes him. “Are you su-”

“Yes, I’m sure hyung,” Juyeon rolls his eyes before slinging his arm around the other.

As they stroll down the street towards the outdoor mall, Hyunjae worries on his bottom lip. They don’t talk about Hyunjae’s mistake, because Juyeon, kind and disarmingly sweet Juyeon, seems to forgive him without overthinking it, and Hyunjae envies him for it. When they reach the boulevard, Hyunjae nudges him softly. “Don’t you want to know why I said...that?” he asks, uncertainly.

Juyeon looks at him for a second, before answering softly, “Only if you want to tell me. Otherwise, I don’t really mind either way.”

“I guess I was embarrassed,” Hyunjae says quietly. At Juyeon’s suddenly uncertain look, he quickly adds, “Not of you! I just didn’t know how to explain what we are, and I...you look- I don't know, different from other guys I’ve dated,” he trails off. Juyeon nods thoughtfully beside him, before responding, “That’s fair. I guess you just have to decide if this is something that’s going to bother you later on. I don’t really want to waste either of our time if it is, hyung.” And he looks so earnest, so caring about Hyunjae’s feelings and time that Hyunjae almost bursts into tears again. “It’s not, it’s so stupid anyway, I honestly don’t care and anyone who does is unimportant so I-” Juyeon cuts him off with a kiss, which he giddily melts into. He feels Juyeon pull him a little closer, long fingers threading through his hair. “Sounds good to me, Hyunjae-hyung.”

He releases a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Me too,” he replies, closing his eyes.

~~

“Are you sure they’ll like me?” Hyunjae asks, uncertainly watching Juyeon in the mirror. He’s getting ready, combing his blonde hair and smoothing it out with pomade, because today he’s meeting Juyeon’s friends for the first time. It’s been three weeks since they ran into each other at the coffee shop, and even though Hyunjae has been deliriously happy with Juyeon, he’s still nervous about meeting his friends. After all, they come from completely different walks of life; what if they don’t like him? Or worse, hate him enough to convince Juyeon not to like him?

“Of course they will, kitten, how could they not?” Juyeon interrupts Hyunjae’s unravelling mental state. “You’re entirely loveable,” he says with a kiss to the back of Hyunjae’s head. “Gross,” Hyunjae snarks, sticking his tongue out at Juyeon in the mirror.

The other smirks, spinning Hyunjae around quickly so he can suck on Hyunjae’s protruding tongue. Hyunjae gasps softly and sinks into the kiss as he grabs handfuls of Juyeon’s thick hair. He loves the way Juyeon kisses him. Juyeon kisses the same way he does everything — with uninterrupted vigour and single-minded focus, like Hyunjae is the only person in the world. As Juyeon trails his mouth down Hyunjae’s neck, he stops abruptly before pulling back to stare, eyebrows furrowed. 

“What is it babe?” Hyunjae asks, eyes glazed.

“The bruise on your neck. It’s gone,” Juyeon says looking puzzled. Hyunjae huffs out a laugh, “Jesus, I thought something was actually wrong. Of course it’s gone, it’s been three weeks since you bit me, you savage.” Juyeon nods pensively, and Hyunjae turns back to the mirror to let him process that _clearly_ complex concept when he’s suddenly thrown onto Juyeon’s bed. “What’re you doing?! We have to leave in five minutes or we’ll be late!” he gasps.

“Whatever, fuck ‘em,” Juyeon grunts into his skin, feverishly sucking a new bruise onto Hyunjae’s collarbone. He was told that under no uncertain terms could he give Hyunjae another hickey in a visible spot because Hyunjae had no interest in the smug looks Kevin threw his way when he walked into work with a turtleneck or scarf over the two weeks following their first hookup. The collarbone is fair game though, Juyeon thinks, as he runs his tongue over the spot to soothe the purpling skin.

“Stop it, I’ll never make a good impression if we’re late,” Hyunjae protests half-heartedly, small hands holding Juyeon’s head in place even as he scolds him. Juyeon smirks into Hyunjae’s lovely pale skin, before undoing the buttons of his white dress shirt to press more kisses down Hyunjae’s chest and abs. When he gets down to the little trail of hair around Hyunjae’s navel, he delicately swirls his tongue into the blonde’s bellybutton, relishing in the pathetic cry he is immediately rewarded with as Hyunjae’s back bows. “Please Juyeon, baby, don’t tease  _please_ ,” he whines pitifully.

Juyeon shushes him by kissing around his hip bones as he unbuckles Hyunjae’s Prada ( _of course_ ) belt and slips his trousers down over his legs. There a lovely little wet spot on Hyunjae’s grey boxer briefs, and Juyeon runs his mouth over the straining bulge just to hear Hyunjae whimper. Knowing how short on time they actually are, he practically tears Hyunjae’s underwear off before pressing the man’s knees up to his chest. “Hold them up, kitten,” he says gruffly, and Hyunjae complies with a sob, knowing what’s coming.

Juyeon stares at Hyunjae’s pert bottom for a second before roughly prying his plump cheeks open. He still remembers the first time he ate the blonde out, the way he almost fell off the bed when he saw the completely waxed, pink hole, and the way Hyunjae shrieked when he came. Juyeon dives in, pushing his face unceremoniously in between the full cheeks, lapping with a delirious fervour at Hyunjae’s already winking hole. He feels drunk on the whimpering cries falling from Hyunjae’s lips, little moans that turn into pitchy gasps when he adds a finger to his ministrations, stroking in and out savagely as he hits Hyunjae’s prostate.

On the bed, Hyunjae is helplessly contemplating how much Juyeon seems to love eating him out as he preens under the attention, when he feels a wriggling tongue press firmly into his hole. His back bows with frightening intensity as he screams, “ _Oh god!_ Fuck baby, oh my  _god_ , do it again  _please_ do it ag-” and then he’s wailing sharply because Juyeon has managed to shove his entire tongue into Hyunjae along with his finger and is flicking both around with surprising strength. Hyunjae begins to sob as he cries out, “Oh  _fuck_ , Juyeon, I’m gonna come, fuck, I’m gonna come,” when Juyeon rips his tongue out of Hyunjae and he wants to die from how upset he is that Juyeon stopped that he begins to actually cry, tears spilling out unchecked.

“Sh baby, it’s okay, I’ll let you come in a second okay kitten?” Juyeon grits out into his ear as he hurriedly tears off his own jeans, before flipping them over so that Hyunjae is is straddling him as he leans against the headboard. He pulls him close so that their cocks are pressed up against each other, the unbelievable heat making them both moan aloud. “Ride my thigh baby,” he grunts, grabbing Hyunjae’s hips to help him get started. Hyunjae doesn’t need any help, however, as he begins bucking quickly against Juyeon, their cocks sliding against one another with delicious friction. “Fuck, you look  so sexy kitten, riding me like _such_ a good boy.” Hyunjae can tell that Juyeon is getting close when he stars to ramble, so he rocks faster and harder to bring them both to climax.

It’s not enough though, and Huunjae whines desperately as he digs his fingernails into Juyeon’s shoulder blades. “JuyeonI need- it’s not-  _please_ _!_ ” Juyeon immediately understands, and Hyunjae screams when he suddenly feels Juyeon’s enormous hand wrap around both of their cocks, pumping firmly.

“ _Oh my god_ _!_ I’m gonna- fuck baby oh my  _god_ ,” he shrieks, nails digging in viciously as he chases the hot pressure of Juyeon’s hand. “Come on kitten, be a good boy and come all over my cock,” Juyeon mutters gruffly, his temples throbbing from how hard he’s gritting his teeth to hold back from coming before Hyunjae.

His words push the blonde over the edge, as he convulses, hips stuttering, a keening wail escaping his lips. “Juyeon, oh  fuck I-I’m coming,” he sobs, tears flowing helplessly down his face as he comes and comes. The sight of Hyunjae bucking feverishly with his come spilling over onto his own cock is Juyeon’s undoing. 

“Fuck kitten,” he groans into Hyunjae’s chest, biting down on his areola so that Hyunjae’s orgasm is drawn out at the last second with a blinding light behind his eyelids, both of their cocks twitching furiously as creamy white come spurts out in endless streams. Dark spots dance before Hyunjae's eyes for a couple seconds. When he comes to, Juyeon is panting into his chest, and his own breath is escaping his mouth in sharp wheezes, as he shudders through the aftershocks of an intense orgasm.

“Juyeon,” he whimpers pitifully into the man’s black-blue hair, shivering. Juyeon quietens him, cradling him tenderly and running his clean hand up and down Hyunjae’s delicate spine, murmuring sweet praises into his skin. Eventually, Hyunjae is able to tamp down on the shivering, and Juyeon lifts his head to kiss him softly. He looks at Hyunjae with wonder, like he’s the most precious thing in the world, before whispering fiercely, “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” Hyunjae can only squirm and bury his head in the crook of Juyeon’s neck, shyly murmuring, “You are too, Juyeonie.”

Juyeon laughs, the way he does every time after they’re intimate because he says it feels too good not to, before lifting Hyunjae up gently and carrying him to the en-suite bathroom. He sits him down on the counter, Hyunjae hissing softly as his bare ass comes into contact with the cold marble. So tenderly, Juyeon wipes him down with a warm washcloth, disregarding the fact that he himself is also naked and covered in rapidly drying come. Hyunjae watches him with hazy eyes, wondering how he got so lucky to find a man like Lee Juyeon. Of course, that’s  _before_ he notices the clock on the wall that says they were supposed to meet up with Juyeon’s friends five minutes ago, and he just squawks and flails his arms in the general direction of the clock so that Juyeon understands.

“It’s fine, hyung,” he chuckles. “I’m always late anyway, I’m pretty sure they’ve started telling me to meet up half an hour before they all plan to get there.” Hyunjae frowns at him, primly responding, “Tardiness is a terrible quality, Juyeon.” The two stare at each other before bursting into simultaneous laughter at how absurd it is that Hyunjae is scolding Juyeon while they’re both naked as the day they were born with come dripping from their abs. Juyeon quickly cleans himself up after that, both shucking on their clothes in record time, and they’re out the door in less than seven minutes.

Although the quickie left him feeling relaxed initially, as they drive towards their destination, Hyunjae can feel himself growing tense. Before he can deep dive into his own neuroses, however, a warm hand is enveloping his, fingers folding together. “I can hear you stressing out kitten,” Juyeon says with a smile, and even though Hyunjae rolls his eyes, the familiar feeling of his hands in Juyeon’s makes him a little less nervous. “So tell me again, exactly what are we doing?” he asks.

Juyeon shrugs. “We’re meeting up with some of my friends at one of their studios - that’s Eric, by the way - and we’re just gonna hang out. He has a mini-fridge of beers, a dart board and they’ve ordered pizza and fried chicken, so it’ll be a chill night in.” Hyunjae perks up at hearing that there will be chicken, and Juyeon throws him a doting smile before laying his head on Hyunjae’s shoulder. He yawns, “Man I’m tired,” to which Hyunjae responds tartly, “Probably shouldn’t have attacked me like that then.” Juyeon chuckles and nuzzles his nose into Hyunjae’s cheek. “I know hyung, but I couldn’t resist you all handsome in your white shirt and trousers.”

“You’re insatiable,” Hyunjae grumbles, but gives him a kiss on the head anyway. It’s funny, the way their relationship is constantly shifting; sometimes, it doesn’t feel like there’s a difference in age, that Juyeon feels older than Hyunjae even, and other times, times like this, Juyeon feels young and guileless, unguarded the way Hyunjae struggles to be. As Juyeon dozes on his shoulder, Hyunjae leans his head back, watching the city’s night lights rush past them. It’s not long before they taxi is slowing down to a halt outside of a sleek looking building. Hyunjae shakes Juyeon awake, who blinks sleepily, making his mismatched eyes look more feline than usual.

After they’re buzzed up, Juyeon taps lightly on a glass door that has “Boyz Studios” etched into it. Immediately, a blur of blonde hair comes hurtling up to them, throwing the door open and leaping into Juyeon’s arms. Hyunjae is shocked to say the least, but Juyeon seems to find nothing abnormal about having a young man cling to his chest like a small spider monkey. Instead, he pats him fondly on the end, greeting the boy as Ericie. Eric in turn gives him one last squeeze and a high five, before dragging both him and Hyunjae in by the wrists, shouting “Guys, guys, Juyeon-hyung is here!”

Hyunjae walks into a minimal studio space with a clearly maximalist occupant — every wall is filled to the brim with colourful sketches and swatches of colour, and the large work bench has an enormous canvas on it that is splashed with graffiti. Stuffed toys line every available surface, as do pictures in multicoloured frames of Eric and numerous other people. Even the simple white sofa is covered with a garishly bright throw, where three people are comfortably squeezed onto it, with one more on the floor in front. “You’re right on time, hyung,” one of the guys remarks dryly, giving the two newcomers a smirk.

If Hyunjae thought Juyeon had feline qualities before, then this boy was giving him a run for his money. Pale green contacts were fixed upon him shrewdly from slanted eyes, and a pink mouth that curled up at the ends looked positively cat-like as it snickered. “Very funny Joonie,” Juyeon responded wryly. “I know you guys secretly planned to tell me to meet up half an hour earlier than the actual plan.”

There’s a small silence until the rooms bursts into noisy chatter. Money changes hands, and people are groaning or shouting with glee based on the direction of the bills. “What the hell is this?” Juyeon asks, indignantly. Eric looks sheepishly at his hyung, “Er, we had a running bet to see when you’d notice.”

“And? What’re the results?”

A redheaded boy chimes in, “Well it technically took you one and a half months, but there were some creative bets.”

“I bet that he would notice only after the leaves started falling. Lucky for me, the leaves fell extra early this year,” one boy says.

“Ugh I bet he’d be wearing a beanie the day he notices but he just  _had_ to go and comb his hair for once,” another one grumbles.

“I bet you’d bring it up when you brought someone with you to the hangout, hyung,” Eric says happily counting his money.

“Did anyone bet that I would notice before two months was over?” Juyeon asks crossly. A sandy haired boy perks up. “I did!” Juyeon smiles. “Great, glad I could help you win some money Cobie.” The boy looks awkward, casting his eyes downward as he mumbles, “Well, it’s more like I had  _faith_ that you would notice before two months, but I didn’t really want to put money on it...”

Juyeon groans and buries his face in Hyunjae’s shoulder. “Come on, we’re leaving,” he says, before a chorus of protests echoes around the studio. Hyunjae detaches himself, saying, “Speak for yourself Juyeon, I want fried chicken.”

There’s raucous laughter and then Eric is dragging Hyunjae to sit in front of the coffee table, shoving a piping hot box of chicken in front of him. He runs off to answer the buzzer that has just rang, and Hyunjae takes a drumstick, biting into it with relish, as he leans back on one hand. As if sensing his defeat, Juyeon sulkily throws himself down next to Hyunjae, laying his head in the blonde’s lap. “Since you’ve all clearly decided to gang up on me, you might as well introduce yourselves to Hyunjae-hyung, you brats,” Juyeon mutters.

“Hi hyung, I’m Eric! This is my studio,” Eric says, coming back and going to sit in front of the cat-boy’s legs, leaning comfortably back onto him. “I’m Hyunjoon, and I’m Eric’s handler,” the cat-boy says, petting Eric’s hair fondly even as the blonde swats at his boyfriend. The redhead introduces himself as Sunwoo, his arm slung around a soft looking boy called Haknyeon and the last sandy haired boy says, “Hi, I’m Jacob. I think we’ve actually met before.”

“Really? Ah, I’m sorry I’m not great with names...” Hyunjae trails off awkwardly, feeling embarrassed.

“That’s okay, you actually-”

“Were piss drunk when you met, so it’s no surprise really that you don’t remember him,” a voice says from behind Hyunjae. Hyunjae’s head whips around to glare at the familiar face.

“The  fuck are you doing here, Kevin?” he snaps.

“Well if you weren’t so wasted that night, you’d remember that Cobie here is my boyfriend,” Kevin responds smugly, kissing Jacob on the head. Juyeon has popped up now, eyeing the two interacting with a confused expression, as are the others in the room. “What’s going on Hyunjae-hyung?” he asks, softly. “Do you want to leave?”

Before Hyunjae can assure him that it’s just a bit that he and Kevin do, Kevin, the little shit, chimes in. “No don’t worry, he’s so excited to be basking in my presence outside of work!” he throws Hyunjae a shit-eating grin. Hyunjae grunts, annoyed. “He’s my personal assistant who is  _dangerously close to being fired if he doesn’t stop being a little dickhead_ ,” he hisses at Kevin. His personal assistant laughs impishly, before burrowing into Jacob. “You’ve been saying that for years hyung, it’s okay to admit you actually love having me around.”

“Yeah whatever,” Hyunjae mutters, burying his nose into Juyeon’s hair and breathing in his woody scent. Juyeon chuckles, finally grasping the nature of his and Kevin’s relationship and slumps back down onto Hyunjae’s nap.

The rest of the evening is spent in laughter and mild intoxication. Hyunjae finds out that Hyunjoon, Sunwoo and Haknyeon all work with Juyeon occasionally as dancers, while Eric and Juyeon have known each other since the younger moved to Seoul three years ago, and that Juyeon plays basketball with Jacob and Eric every weekend. Jacob is really the angel that everyone calls him, and Hyunjae finds a kindred spirit in the quick-to-scream Sunwoo when they’re playing darts. He looks over to see Juyeon fast asleep on the sofa, as the rest of the guys are carefully balanced around him playing Mario Kart on the flat screen TV.

Hyunjae’s about to join them when he feels a soft hand on his elbow. He turns to find Hyunjoon eyeing him thoughtfully. Before he can ask the younger boy what’s up, Hyunjoon speaks in a low voice. “Look, you seem like you’re smart enough to keep up so I’m going to be blunt right now. I know rich guys like you. I grew up around rich guys like you, who have everything handed to them in life by daddy with a silver spoon. It’s not your fault that you’re born into privilege so that’s not what I’m holding against you, but if you’re just dating Juyeon-hyung as some sort of ‘fuck you’ to your family, you should probably piss off right now. Juyeon is a lot more innocent than he seems, but we’re not, and we will know the  _second_ you fuck around with him.” There’s a pause as Hyunjae considers his words. Never one to beat around the bush, he settles on a simple response. “I’m not and duly noted.”

Hyunjoon eyes him impassively for a second, eyes flashing dangerously, before suddenly shrugging, his whole demeanour changing from a sharp predator to a lazy house cat. “Okay then,” he says softly, before drifting gracefully back to Eric’s side. Just then, Juyeon wakes with a start. He groans, rubbing his face. “How long was I asleep for?”

“Like, forever, hyung, it was so boring. You can’t just invite us to meet your new boyfriend and then fall asleep for the whole time, hyung,” Eric complains, eyes still glued to the screen where Toad is racing down Rainbow Road. Juyeon’s eyes immediately dart to Hyunjae’s flushed face — they hadn’t really discussed labels yet, and here Eric was, casually throwing the term around while playing  _Mario Kart_ for Christ’s sake. “Yeah, that’s hyung’s bad, I’m sorry guys,” he mumbles awkwardly.

“It’s fine Juyeonie-hyung,” Sunwoo says, also focused on the game. “We know you guys got it on before you came, and that’s why you were late and you’re so tired- YAH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ERIC?” he screeches at the end. “You’re gonna fucking blue shell me right when I’m about to cross the finish line, you little shit? Come here, we're just gonna talk!” he shouts, leaping over numerous bodies with impressive agility to scrabble after Eric.

Hyunjae, who’s face is so hot he could make bulgogi on it, lets out a choked noise, and Juyeon jumps up to grab his hand. “And that’s our cue to leave, bye guys, don’t let Sunwoo murder Eric!” he garbles out, before dragging Hyunjae to the door. Hyunjae hears Jacob call Haknyeon to control his boyfriend, to which Haknyeon responds, “Yes yes I’m going, but doesn’t he look so cute when he runs, I just-”

Hyunjae and Juyeon emerge outside, standing still in the crisp autumn night. Juyeon’s eyes flicker towards him. “That was...”

Hyunjae nods, eyes wide like a startled deer. “Mhm.”

Juyeon sighs. "I’m sorry if that made you feel weird. My friends don’t have the best verbal filters, and I’m sure they didn’t know they were making you feel uncomfortable. We don’t have to put a label on anything if you’re not comfortable with it,” he says, sweetly holding Hyunjae close.

“But I do want to,” Hyunjae mumbles in a small voice into Juyeon’s collar. Suddenly he’s being torn away, and Juyeon is staring at him with shock and such endearing  _hopefulness_ shining in his eyes. “You what?” he asks, as if barely daring to dream.

“I do want. To put a label on our relationship, that is,” Hyunjae says shyly. And then Juyeon is kissing him, and he feels like he’s flying because Juyeon breathes out, “Me too. I really want that too.”

~~

They collapse onto Hyunjae’s massive bed, sweaty and covered in come. The room is silent save for their harsh panting as they fight to catch their breath. Juyeon turns to look at Hyunjae who’s gasping in the high pitch that Juyeon loves.

“So...this is your apartment,” he says slowly. Hyunjae turns to fix him with a look, which makes both of them burst out laughing. Hyunjae has invited Juyeon over for the first time because even though they’ve been seeing each other for just over a month now, Juyeon still had yet to set foot in Hyunjae’s penthouse flat. Mostly because Hyunjae  _so_ prefers Juyeon’s place, has even started to keep extra clothes and a toothbrush there, but also partly because Hyunjae is still scared to let someone in again after the pain that was his last breakup. He’s alluded to it in passing to Juyeon, who doesn’t press or ask difficult questions, simply nods and gives him sweet kisses in return, as if he’s thanking Hyunjae for sharing little pieces of himself with Juyeon.

“What do you think?” Hyunjae asks, propping himself up on one elbow, determinedly ignoring the fact that his come is sliding off of his abs and onto the sheets. He’ll have to throw them in the washing machine before the cleaner comes because that’s a little too embarrassing for even her to see.

Juyeon copies his movement, and says carefully, “It’s very...you.” And then he’s laughing aloud at Hyunjae’s affronted expression, shouting, “Kidding, kidding! I love it,” as he presses silly kisses all over Hyunjae’s face. Hyunjae in turn half-heartedly pushes him away, grumbling about how rude some people can be, slyly hiding his own smile.

“What’re your plans for the day?” Juyeon asks eventually, smiling at him like Hyunjae is the only person in the world. The blonde shrugs, before replying nonchalantly, “Nothing big, I have dinner with friends later. You?”

He rolls out of bed to grab some tissues, but turns back to Juyeon when he realises the other hasn’t responded. Instead, Juyeon is still, laying there pensively as if he’s thinking something through. “Juyeonie?”

Juyeon starts. “Oh, sorry. I don’t have anything planned really,” he pauses the way he does when he still has something to say, so Hyunjae waits. “Could I- could I come to dinner with you?” he asks, a little shy and embarrassed.

Hyunjae is speechless for a moment. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Before he can respond, Juyeon is hurriedly adding, “I don’t have to if you don’t want me to, I was just thinking about the fact that I’ve never met your friends, which is obviously your choice when or if I do, but I guess I thought that since-”

“Juyeon.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“I’d love for you to come,” Hyunjae says, leaning over to give his boyfriend’s surprised face a kiss. Although he would never say it out loud, a part of him knows that he had been subconsciously hiding Juyeon away from his friends because they had been so openly unimpressed with his last boyfr- nope not going there, Hyunjae thinks firmly. Juyeon is nothing like his ex — he’s unbearably kind and sweet, funny when he wants to be but thoughtful and serious when they’re discussing something important. His friends have to like him. Right?

He’s broken out of his reverie when he sees Juyeon wriggling out of the corner of his eye. “There’s a weird lump underneath m- what is this?” he asks pulling out a small mass of fabric. All of the blood rushes out of Hyunjae’s face as he lunges towards the bed, shrieking, “Don’t touch that, give it back!” but Juyeon’s arms are longer than his and he holds it out of Hyunjae’s scrabbling hands.

It’s Juyeon’s grey scarf from the day after they first met, the one that he had hurriedly wrapped around Hyunjae before pushing him into a taxi home. Hyunjae has taken to sleeping with it every night he’s away from Juyeon, breathing into the woody cologne that lingers on the cashmere. Juyeon has a strange little smile on his face as he stares at Hyunjae adoringly. Hyunjae, on the other hand, feels like he’s about to die from mortification -  _that’s a real medical phenomenon right?_ \- and is leaning over to try and smack the idiotic smile off of Juyeon’s face when Juyeon pulls him close to whisper so tenderly it  _hurts_ in Hyunjae’s ear, “You’re so lovely.” Well, there’s really no way Hyunjae can smack him now, after he has complimented him so prettily, so he just huffs, kissing Juyeon on the cheek before grabbing the scarf back to shove it under his pillow.

Shortly after, Juyeon goes home (albeit grumpily) to get a change of clothes for dinner and feed Inna, and Younghoon and Chanmin come over to hang out before everyone meets up at the restaurant. The two of them are sitting on the plush rug in Hyunjae’s closet, leaning against a velvet chaise-lounge as they watch Hyunjae try on different outfits.

“So who’s this guy again? He must be pretty special if you’re letting us meet him,” Chanmin says as he plays with Younghoon’s hair. Hyunjae rolls his eyes at them as he tries on yet another shirt, snarking, “Well yes, after you tore the last guy I brought to pieces, I’ve been the tiniest bit reluctant to bring someone again to the Spanish Inquisition.”

Younghoon tsks, “Yah we’re not that bad, Hyunjae-ya. The last guy you brought was just literal and actual human trash-”

“So as I was saying, I expect you guys to be on your best behaviour tonight,” Hyunjae cuts him off loudly.

“What’s his name? I wanna look him up,” Changmin says, pulling out his phone. Hyunjae fixes him with a glare, which he responds to with a whine, “Come on, background checks are so normal these days. Pleeease?” He smiles winningly, cute dimples on full display.

“Ugh fine, but be discreet please,” Hyunjae grunts. “Last time you accidentally liked an Instagram photo from 2008 before I even went on a date with the guy.”

“Whatever, he sucked anyway,” Changmin returns.

“Embarrassing Ji Changmin. It was embarrassing.”

“Can you stop stalling, just tell us his name,” Younghoon pipes up from Changmin’s lap. He pops a bubble in the gum he’s chewing to punctuate his point.

“His name is Lee Juyeon, he’s 24 and he dances for a liv-”

“WAIT. Just wait!” Changmin’s shocked voice interrupts him, as he giddily runs to the living room where his bag is. Hyunjae and Younghoon exchange equally puzzled looks when the Changmin comes rushing back in, clutching a magazine. “Is this him?” he asks, smacking the volume down on the dresser in front of Hyunjae.

And there Juyeon is, languidly posed against a white backdrop, dressed only in tight leggings with ballet shoes hanging from his neck, dark tattoos on full display against his creamy skin. The text splashed over the picture reads, “Bad Boy of Ballet Returns?” and Hyunjae can only stare at it, running his fingers over the glossy page. “What is this tripe?” he asks without any heat, unable to process what he’s seeing.

“Hyunjae-hyung, Lee Juyeon is a really famous dancer — he’s probably  _the_ most famous male ballet dancer in Asia currently,” Changmin tells him breathlessly. Younghoon has gotten up from the floor now, looking at the picture with interest when his eyes light up. “Changminie! This guy is page five of that coffee table book you gave me right?”

“Yes!” Changmin squeals, and then Hyunjae is desperately trying to remember what page five was that one time he flipped through the book the night he met Juyeon. “Wait...” Younghoon’s elegant brow is furrowed. “Didn’t you say- isn’t that the guy you said was interviewing to be a security guard in your office last month?”

“Wait what? Lee Juyeon’s trying to become a security guard?” Changmin asks, cocking his head to one side. Hyunjae groans. Trust Younghoon, who can barely remember where his own house is sometimes, let alone someone he met for five minutes over a month ago, to recall that stupid day.

“No, just...urgh,” Hyunjae gargles. He explains the whole unfortunate incident to them, how he and Juyeon had hooked up at the artists’ event, the fact that they ran into each other the next day - “ _yeah right, so that’s where you were”_ \- and how his idiot mouth had blurted the horrible lie. Younghoon and Changmin listen passively, and when Hyunjae is done, Younghoon pats him on the back, muttering, “Well he gets points off the bat for putting up with  _that_ bullshit situation you put him through,” to which Changmin nods in agreement. Hyunjae silently concurs, pondering, not for the first time, how lucky he is to have Juyeon in his life. 

~~ 

At the restaurant, Hyunjae is nervously picking at his cuff links while he waits for Juyeon to arrive. He told him it was a nice place, hoping that Juyeon understood that ‘nice’ for Hyunjae and his friends meant ‘eye-wateringly expensive’ for most people. He needn’t have worried though, because when Younghoon peeks out of the window of their private room, he whistles lowly, “This is a weird thing to say, but he looks even better with clothes on than he does off.”

Chanhee glares at the taller man, “Literally what the fuck, Younghoon.” Before Hyunjae can agree loudly, the door is sliding open and-

His heart stops. Juyeon looks good enough to eat with his dark hair brushed back from his handsome face, his proportions perfectly filling out a gorgeous black suit lined with satin of the same colour along the lapels. His crisp white shirt is ever so slightly undone, revealing just a peek of inked skin underneath, his collarbones standing out sharp enough to cut glass. Chanhee eyes him shrewdly before murmuring to himself, “Hm, Armani Autumn/Winter 2019.”

Juyeon looks a little alarmed when he hears the assessment and sees a room full of people staring at him, but his mismatched eyes brighten when they meet Hyunjae’s, as he says softly, “Hey darling.”

The room is eerily quiet as if everyone is holding their breath, and Hyunjae lets out a strangled cough. “Hey babe,” he says, embarrassed but smiling giddily back. Then the dam breaks, and Younghoon jumps up to shake Juyeon’s hand, saying how good it is to see him again, and Changmin is chiming in, a little star struck as he bows, while Chanhee and Sangyeon also cheerfully greet Juyeon. Juyeon is ushered in by grabby hands to sit next to Hyunjae around the round table and everyone starts talking about the menu once he’s settled in.

Juyeon touches a light kiss to Hyunjae’s temple, smiling tenderly at him as they share a private moment in the bustling room. Hyunjae slips his hand into Juyeon’s, giving it a squeeze before handing him a menu.

When all of the food has arrived, and everyone is suitably buzzed with soju, Hyunjae raises his glass somewhat unsteadily. His usually boisterous self has only been magnified by the addition of the rice wine, and he shouts, “A toast, a toast!” Everyone exchanges looks at the red flush in his face, before dutifully raising their own glasses. “To good friends, better food, and the best boyfriends,” Hyunjae cries, giggling uncontrollably. His friends all cringe and laugh along with him, while Sangyeon, who’s also a little past buzzed, yells, “Hear hear!”

“Guys, guys, you gotta eat up,” Hyunjae says, even as he piles the pork belly into Juyeon’s bowl, stacking them sky high.

“Er Hyunjae-ya, how do you expect us to have any meat when you’re putting it all onto Juyeon’s plate?” Chanhee asks dubiously. Sangyeon leans over to his new boyfriend, whispering not-so-quietly, “I’ll give you some meat when you get home baby,” as he grins lewdly. “Oh my god,  _babe_!” Chanhee hisses from behind small fingers, but his cheeks are blushing pink and he can’t help his excited smile.

Juyeon takes it all in, the way Hyunjae is with his friends and the din of a close-knit friend group enjoying dinner together. Although granted this restaurant is far more expensive than the ones he and his own friends would ever go to, really, the two groups aren’t so different. Smiling fondly, he pulls Hyunjae close to feed him a piece of pork belly off of his own plate, kissing him soundly on the mouth as Hyunjae chews with a dazed expression on his face.

By the end of the night, Juyeon is calling Younghoon “Younghoonie-hyung”, has agreed to meet with Changmin at his talent agency to discuss a potential contract, let Chanhee fix his cuff links because they apparently were on the wrong way around, and received a wet kiss on the head from Sangyeon. Hyunjae just watches his friends, the same people who have been famously cold to every one of Hyunjae’s previous boyfriends, fawn over Juyeon the way he himself can’t help doing, feeling the emptiness in his heart fill a little more with Juyeon’s warmth.

~~

It’s sort of a pain, the two of them half-living at each other’s place, Hyunjae muses to himself as he washes his face before bed. He had to buy himself a whole extra set of toiletries and skin products just so he could stop hauling a massive bag around every time he stayed at Juyeon’s, which, early on, was almost every night, although Juyeon has been staying at his house with increasing frequency lately. Speaking of which, Hyunjae looks around his luxurious bathroom and realises that Juyeon barely has a toothbrush and a razor by his sink - it’s so nice that the second sink finally has an occupant, Hyunjae thinks giddily - and he abruptly calls out to the navy-haired man.

“Juyeon!”

Thumping footsteps, and then his handsome face is popping out of the doorframe. “What’s up kitten?”

“Where’s all your stuff?”

Juyeon frowns. “What do you mean?” Hyunjae gesticulates vaguely with his hands covered in a foaming masque, “I don’t know, stuff, like your moisturiser or face wash, or toner.” Juyeon’s brow furrows even deeper.

“My stuff’s right there,” he points at the toothbrush and razor. Hyunjae’s eyes widen. “You don’t use a cleanser?” Juyeon shakes his head. “Moisturiser?” Another shake. “Essence?!” A confused shake.

“ _What?_ How is your skin so  good?” Hyunjae cries, grabbing Juyeon’s face forcefully to press his nose into it, staring at his pores. Or lack thereof, apparently. “Where the  _fuck_ are your pores, Juyeonie?”

With his cheeks being squeezed as hard as they are, Juyeon can only manage a muffled, “Mrphgk!” Hyunjae releases his face with an “oops!” and a laugh, which Juyeon joins him in when he sees the two mint-coloured handprints on his face. He shakes his head ruefully, “I don’t know, I never really put stuff on my face. I don’t really feel like it makes a difference y’know?”

“Well la-dee-da, Lee Juyeon, but the rest of us have to work for perfect skin,” Hyunjae snarks. “Just know that when we’re both eighty, I’m going to look like a fresh peach and you’re going to be a wrinkled paper bag,” he sniffs disdainfully to punctuate his point, turning back to the mirror.

Juyeon chuckles and wraps long arms around Hyunjae’s tapered waist. “I’d like that — to wake up next to you looking like a peach when we’re eighty I mean,” he murmurs adoringly into Hyunjae’s temple. Hyunjae stares at him in the mirror, eyes shining. “O-oh...” he stutters flaccidly, rendered entirely speechless by Juyeon’s easy declaration.

“In that case...” he murmurs softly, “we’d better start taking care of your face!” he shouts, attacking Juyeon with two handfuls of masque. Juyeon ducks with a howl of laughter, but he isn’t fast enough and Hyunjae manages to plant a sticky hand over his whole left cheek. Hyunjae shrieks when Juyeon tackles him in retaliation, spinning him round and round until he’s dizzy and thumping Juyeon’s back with his hands. When they’re done play fighting like wild animals, Juyeon dutifully lets Hyunjae fill out the rest of his face with product, and even pouts cheekily for a selfie that he suggests Hyunjae should post with the caption “mask bros”. Hyunjae has no words for that, except a scathing look of disgust.

As they’re getting into bed, Juyeon’s face suddenly lights up. “Oh I almost forgot! I have something for you,” he says, running out of the bedroom. Hyunjae claps his hands - he loves a good present -but when Juyeon comes back clutching one sock, his face falls.

“Mm Juyeonie, I really appreciate the sentiment, but I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want it,” he says, eyeing the sock warily. 

Juyeon laughs,  “I just put it in the sock temporarily silly, and it’s a clean one too, so don’t be a princess.”

Quickly, before Hyunjae can protest he reaches in and takes his hand out in a fist. “Close your eyes, kitten,” he says playfully. Hyunjae pins him with a last warning look before complying, holding his hands out expectantly. Nothing falls into them, however, but Hyunjae feels Juyeon slipping something cold over his left pointer finger. Shocked, he opens his eyes. On his finger sits a simple band of white gold with a ring of black pearl running through the centre. His gaze darts to Juyeon’s hand that’s still holding his and sees a ring that looks like the exact inverse of his on Juyeon’s own finger, a black gold band with a ring of white pearl.

“What’s this?” he chokes out, eyes meeting Juyeon’s for the first time. The way Juyeon looks at him with his stunning mismatched eyes never fails to take his breath away, but Hyunjae feels his chest physically constrict when Juyeon murmurs, “I wanted us to have a piece of each other always.”

Couple rings are common in Seoul where physical affection is a little frowned upon, so partners often share an accessory to mark the other person as theirs. Hyunjae’s previous boyfriends have always scoffed at the idea though, so even though he always secretly wished to exchange rings, he played along by pretending it was stupid. Now however, as he reverently traces his thumb over his new ring, he can’t help but feel a little emotional. 

Juyeon picked them himself, without Hyunjae having to hint or ask, and he found the perfect ring for Hyunjae — something classic enough that he could still wear to work, but special with the dark band of pearl reminding him so much of the rings Juyeon always wears. Hyunjae leans forward to kiss Juyeon, whispering “Thank you so much, I love them” into the younger man’s lips. Juyeon only responds with his own kisses, and strokes his finger down Hyunjae’s cheek delicately as if he’s scared to break something terribly precious.  
  


~~  
  


Even though by now everyone in Hyunjae’s life adores Juyeon, sometimes even openly tells Hyunjae that they prefer Juyeon to him ( _f_ _ ucking rude _ ), he still has yet to introduce his boyfriend to his parents. However, when even his employees begin recognising Juyeon because Kevin has been cheerfully distributing pictures of his boyfriend for all of the female and some of the male workers to gush over, Hyunjae decides it’s probably time for the three most important people in his life to meet.

After all, ever the one to leap first, Juyeon has already introduced Hyunjae to his mother and father. When Hyunjae meets Juyeon’s parents over video call because they live a couple cities away, he is awed by how lovely they are. Of course, given how inherently good Juyeon is, he shouldn’t have been surprised, but still, when the call ends and Juyeon’s mother tells him how handsome he is and how pleased she is that Juyeon’s found someone like him, and when his father tells him to text if he ever needs tips on tomato-cultivation of all things, Hyunjae can’t help but savour the feeling of how right it feels talking to them.

It’s not  _quite_ the same story when Juyeon meets his parents. When they go to meet for afternoon tea at the Shangri-La hotel, his mother’s daintily surprised face and his father’s blatant shock as they walk in make Hyunjae feel cold inside, even while his palms become sweaty. Juyeon is naturally charming as always, bowing lowly and respectfully to his parents, pleasantly complimenting his mother on her admittedly lovely hairdo, and gifting her an expensive bouquet of flowers while handing his father a luxurious bottle of scotch. Still, the edge of tension hangs low in the air, so low that Hyunjae can feel it in the back of his throat.

As they sit down, he watches his parents shift uncomfortably, eyes darting back and forth along the little bits of tattoo that peek out from under Juyeon’s suit. Even though he’s taken off all of his jewellery, brushed his hair so that it lays neatly in the style that Hyunjae and all of his friends wear theirs and looks the most vanilla Hyunjae has ever seen him, his parents still seem to struggle with their son’s boyfriend’s appearance.

Hyunjae is astounded to see them act this way. They’ve always been nothing but supportive with the other partners he’s brought to meet them, dutifully gushing over each one after the first meeting. Naturally, they’re still endlessly polite to Juyeon, inquiring after his health and showing genuine interest in his occupation when he talks about his upcoming performance. Juyeon’s mother’s eyes brighten a little when she realises he’s the Lee Juyeon her friends have all been gushing about seeing on stage, especially since ballet is considered very high-brow entertainment for the upper echelons of society. His father nods along interestedly, and Hyunjae can hear the wheels turning in his head as he attempts to work out the annual income a premiere ballet dancer makes in Seoul.

When Juyeon gets up to leave after a couple hours in order to attend rehearsal, his mother politely invites him to come to their house sometime for dinner, although he thinks even Juyeon can tell that it’s an empty invitation. Still, he bows gracefully and thanks his mother profusely with his lovely voice, gives his father a firm but warm handshake, and kisses Hyunjae’s head before leaving the tearoom. There’s a small pause when the door to their private suite closes, and then Hyunjae’s mother is turning a bright but forced smile on him.

“Eomma, appa, what is it? Why were you so distant to Juyeon?” he asks, deeply perturbed.

His parents exchange a look and both sigh, the smiles falling from their faces. “Hyunjae-ya, he seems like a perfectly nice young man, but we’re just surprised because you’ve never brought one of your flings to meet us before,” his mother says carefully.

“Flings? He isn’t a fling, eomma,” Hyunjae intones, surprised. “We’ve been dating seriously for a few months now.”

His father’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really? But he seems so...different from your previous partners.”

“How do you mean?” Hyunjae asks, cold dread trickling through his veins.

His parents share another look. “Well...he’s younger than you, for one, and you’ve always dated older men, Hyunjae-ya, which we thought was a good idea because they grounded you,” his mother starts.

“That and he’s from a completely different walk of life than you, son,” his father adds. “I mean realistically, where do you see this relationship going? How does he fit into your future as a CEO of a major company? Will he be comfortable in the settings that your lifestyle will inevitably thrust him into - press conferences, ribbon cuttings, business lunches?”

The questions echo one after the other around Hyunjae’s skull dully as he listens. Seeing his shell-shocked face, his mother takes his hand into one of her perfectly manicured ones, saying softly, “Hyunjae, we support you no matter what. It’s important that you think about your future, especially since you’re getting closer to the marrying age.”

Hyunjae just nods, but doesn’t say much else for the next half hour before he hurriedly excuses himself, leaving his parents with worried looks on their faces. 

~~ 

Hyunjae doesn’t want to admit to himself that his parents got to him. Even though their questions were perfectly well-meaning and innocuous, they’ve still opened a Pandora’s box of neuroses that Hyunjae is frantically trying to shove closed in his head.

He takes a long walk around the city, pondering their questions. It’s true, he grants them, he’s never dated someone younger, nor has he ever dated someone from a more unconventional professional background. But Juyeon is good for him, he thinks fiercely; he’s tender and warm, unfailingly generous and down to earth, and he makes Hyunjae feel like he’s the only one in the world who matters. Isn’t that enough?

By the time he gets home, it’s almost completely dark, the nights shortened by the upcoming winter. As he draws near, however, he hears lively chatter from inside the house and he opens the door to find Juyeon, Changmin and Younghoon lounging around his living room. His throat goes a little dry when he sees Juyeon, who clearly has only just gotten back from rehearsal, and whose dark tendrils are sticking to his forehead in different places, a tight tank top pulled over his glistening muscles.

“Uh?” he manages to say. Changmin and Juyeon are caught up in a lively discussion about the merits of a traditional dance education on the development of modern dance and barely pay him any mind, although Juyeon throws him a quick air kiss before directing his focus straight back to Changmin. Younghoon is laying on his back dangling Inna - who now has double versions of all of her own things at Hyunjae’s place - up with his long arms, cooing at her while she playfully bats his hands.

“Hello??” Hyunjae asks, getting crankier by the second because of how little attention he’s getting. Younghoon glances at him quickly. “Hey,” he says carelessly, before going back to pay with Inna. No one else responds.

“Um, can someone please pay attention to me given that you’re all in  _my_ house?” Hyunjae half-shrieks, waving his arms. Juyeon immediately jumps up to scoop him into his arms, bridal style, planting a warm kiss on his face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to ignore you kitten,” he chuckles as he crashes back down onto Hyunjae’s sofa, said-sofa’s-owner still in his arms. Changmin screeches his dolphin call as he’s squashed in the process, clambering out agilely and muttering about  _fucking honeymoon couples._

A little mollified now that he’s in Juyeon’s arms, Hyunjae still can’t help but gripe at the other two in his house. “Why are you guys here again?” he asks Changmin and Younghoon pointedly.

Younghoon replies simply, “We were out of cheese.”

To which Hyunjae snaps, “I gave you that key for emergencies, you delinquents.”

He gets two identical stares back. “Yes...we were out. Of. Cheese,” Younghoon intones back, giving his boyfriend a baffled look.

Hyunjae just groans into Juyeon’s chest. “Oh my god, okay can you leave now so I can spend time with my boyfriend?” His friends cheerfully grab the two blocks of Gouda they’ve pilfered from Hyunjae’s fridge, give Inna one last pet and leave, closing the door behind them.

“Remind me to take their keys back the next time I see them,” Hyunjae mumbles into Juyeon’s collarbone. “Speaking of which, how did  you get in here mister?”

He feels Juyeon shrug and say, “Younghoon-hyung and Changmin were already here when I came by after rehearsal, so I figured I’d wait for you inside.” Juyeon strokes his large hands up and down Hyunjae’s back, soothing him after such a stressful day. “How did the rest of afternoon tea go with your parents?”

“It was fine, no big deal,” comes Hyunjae’s clipped answer, his body all of a sudden tense again under Juyeon’s fingers. “Hey what happened? Did I make a bad impression or something?” Juyeon asks, worriedly.

“No no, nothing like that. They were nagging me about stuff with the company so I got frustrated,” Hyunjae deflects, hating that he’s lying to his boyfriend.

“Mm that’s tough, I’m sorry. But you shouldn’t get annoyed with your parents kitten - everything they do is out of love for you,” Juyeon murmurs. His response makes Hyunjae’s insides clench because of course Juyeon is defending his parents even though he clearly suspects that they’re unsure about him — he’s just that kind of person. The fear that sits heavily in Hyunjae’s chest from his parents’ probing questions make him feel a little desperate for reassurance, for Juyeon, so he doesn’t bother responding verbally, just starts pressing kisses up and down Juyeon’s neck and jaw, moving his hips so he’s straddling him. The little whine Juyeon lets out as he turns his head to give Hyunjae more access makes his cock achingly hard, and he grinds down against Juyeon to gain some much needed friction.

The sight of Juyeon’s massive hands on his hips always makes Hyunjae painfully aroused, so when he nips down on Juyeon’s neck a little harder and Juyeon lets out a shaky 'fuck' and his hands tighten their grip, Hyunjae’s cock throws a wet tantrum in his trousers. His lips are recaptured by Juyeon’s searching ones, and then Juyeon is lifting him up to sit him down on the sofa, while he sinks to his knees in front of Hyunjae. Hyunjae watches him with hooded eyes and swollen lips as Juyeon gives him a predatory smirk. He leans up to whisper savagely in Hyunjae’s ear.

“I’m going to eat you alive, kitten.”

He tears Hyunjae’s trousers and boxer briefs down in a flash and then Hyunjae is crying out because Juyeon has just sucked his entire cock into his hot mouth with frightening speed. Juyeon runs his large hands up and down Hyunjae’s thighs, stroking the pale skin as he bobs his head fiercely. “Oh  _Christ_ , oh fuck,  _Juyeon_ ,” Hyunjae whimpers, threading small hands through Juyeon’s messy hair. A light sheen of sweat covers his trembling body as he feels himself hurtle towards the finish line, balls drawing up close.

“Oh my god, you have to stop, I’m gonna c-come,” he keens, hips canting. Juyeon doesn’t deign to respond, merely continues to slurp at Hyunjae’s twitching cock. “Just give me a second, I’m too close-” he begs, to no avail. 

When he feels himself losing hold of his last shred of sanity, Hyunjae feels a long finger press firmly into his puckered back entrance. “Stop, _stop_ I’m gonna come baby!” he shrieks helplessly. Juyeon lifts his mouth up for a second to gruffly respond.

“So come.” And then he’s shoving his head down so that Hyunjae’s cock is trapped in his convulsing throat and his finger slides in to nudge at Hyunjae’s prostate and -

“ _Oh fuck_ ,  oh my god!” Hyunjae wails and screams himself hoarse as his cock spurts come into Juyeon’s hot mouth. Juyeon coughs, surprised by the feeling of Hyunjae coming directly down his throat and lifts up for a fraction of a second, just long enough for a spurt of come to paint a stripe from his lip to his angular jaw, before he dips back downs to suck the rest of Hyunjae’s come directly from his pulsing length. When Hyunjae is hiccuping weakly and pulling at Juyeon’s hair to release him, he looks down to see Juyeon staring at him as he gives Hyunjae’s softening cock a last gentle lick. Slowly, Juyeon runs a thumb down his own jaw to catch the stray come and laps his tongue over the droplet predatorily. Hyunjae shudders, squeezing his eyes shut at the sight because it’s almost  too much to bear when he’s so fucked out.

“You look so sexy when you come for me hyung,” Juyeon rasps, as he picks Hyunjae up to carry him to the bedroom.

“Lucky for you then, cause I’m not done with you, Lee Juyeon,” Hyunjae whispers back, relishing the rough moan that escapes Juyeon’s lips and the violently tight grip he presses into Hyunjae’s thighs.

After Juyeon throws him down on the bed, Hyunjae immediately turns to get on all fours, presenting his plump ass to his boyfriend. Juyeon is halfway through removing his clothes, but when he notices, his knees buckle, jeans still half on as he falls beside the bed to stare at Hyunjae’s winking hole. The blonde can’t help the little whimper that escapes him when he sees the heated gaze Juyeon is staring at his entrance with.

“Jesus kitten, your ass is fucking  _incredible_ ,” he says roughly, palming Hyunjae’s full cheeks. Suddenly there’s a smack and a sharp sting, and Hyunjae is falling forward onto his face as he feels Juyeon spank him harshly. “Again,” he moans into the mattress, gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles hurt. Juyeon immediately obeys, delivering two more spanks in quick succession, and Hyunjae  howls at the obscene sound ringing through the room.

“Fuck, your ass looks so good with my handprint on it,” Juyeon says, biting one red globe. “Gonna eat you out now, kitten, gonna make you feel so good okay pretty baby?” he asks, licking a firm stripe up Hyunjae’s crack. Hyunjae can only keen in response, physically unable to make his lips form words. Juyeon ravishes Hyunjae’s bottom, groaning into it like he’s eating a Michelin meal. Suddenly, Hyunjae feels his cheeks being viciously pried open, Juyeon spitting loudly into his hole, before shoving his tongue into it. “ Christ, Juyeon!” he sobs into the bedsheets, drool pouring out of his mouth at an alarming rate.

Juyeon is eating him out with a ferocious vigour, but when he begins to scissor long fingers gently into his hole, Hyunjae thinks he’s about to lose his mind. Hyunjae’s crease is sopping wet, and Juyeon  _adores_ the way his hole gets puffy and swollen the longer he fingers him. “Add another finger, I can take it,” Hyunjae moans, and Juyeon rewards him with a nip to his creamy thigh and by adding his middle finger to the two already in his ass. He pumps them steadily, taking care to brush Hyunjae’s sensitive prostate each time.

“I’m ready Juyeonie, please fuck me.” The whimpered request is almost Juyeon’s undoing, and he bites down hard on one of Hyunjae’s cheeks to keep from coming in his jeans like a teenager. “Shit! ” Hyunjae cries out, hand shooting down to grip the base of his cock firmly so he himself doesn’t come. The sight of Hyunjae desperately trying to ward off his orgasm has Juyeon feeling utterly intoxicated with an animalistic lust, so he gets up to grab the lube to give himself time to regroup and also move the preparatory process along.

Hyunjae is shivering on the bed when he gets back a second later, hand still harshly pressed against the base of his cock, which is twitching pitifully, the tip an angry red colour. Juyeon shushes his whine, “Breathe baby, we’re almost done, look, I have the lube right here.”

Hyunjae nods frantically, gulping down his hiccups. “ _Ye_ s  put your fingers back in me, I’m ready, I  need -” and what is Juyeon supposed to do with that except comply. Slowly, he slips three fingers back into Hyunjae’s pink entrance, twisting them as he pumps in and out, before slipping a fourth in. He never takes Hyunjae before he can put four fingers in him, too worried about hurting the Hyunjae to rush things.

But now, when Hyunjae is so deliriously needy and begging so prettily, Juyeon can hardly wait before he’s slathering his cock in a handful of lube. “P ut your cock in me Juyeon,” Hyunjae chants pleadingly, canting his hips back, presenting like the prettiest kitten he is. When Juyeon presses the blunt tip in, Hyunjae sobs out of relief, his tear stained face completely soaked. The slide in is the longest moment of Hyunjae’s life, as Juyeon’s massive cock presses in, in, deeper and deeper until finally his heavy balls are pressed against Hyunjae’s firm bottom. Hyunjae is so full he can almost feel Juyeon’s cock in the back of his throat.

Immediately, Hyunjae goes to buck his hips, when he’s stopped by a punishing grip on his hipbone. “ _Shit,_ kitten, just- give me a minute, will you?” Juyeon is gritting out, barely able to keep it together as Hyunjae’s channel grips him in insidious pulses. After what seems like an eternity, he finally begins to move, thrusting slowly but firmly to hit Hyunjae’s prostrate every time. Hyunjae whips his hips perilously fast, a move that finally snaps Juyeon’s tentative control; suddenly, Hyunjae is being pistoned into at a frightening speed, Juyeon’s hips snapping so hard that his back aches with it.

Hyunjae’s mouth is hanging open, freely drooling as large whines escape helplessly, feeling like he’s being pummelled from the inside out. The sensation of being stuffed completely to the brim has him reaching down to his-

_Fuck._ There, as Juyeon is thrusting frenziedly into him, a corresponding bulge is moving in and out of his stomach. Unable to bear the idea that Juyeon’s cock is stretching his stomach out, Hyunjae shrieks, “Oh my fuc-fucking  _god_ , oh god, Juyeon!” He scrabbles with one hand to grab Juyeon’s, and for a second, Juyeon is alarmed, thinking that Hyunjae is hurt, but then his hand is being drawn down and pressed into-

"Shit is that-?” And when Juyeon presses a large, hot hand into the protrusion, hips stuttering so that Hyunjae’s prostate is being battered just so, Hyunjae comes. “ _Ngh_ oh god Juyeon  I’m coming!” his arms give out beneath him as his cock spasms wildly, spitting out thin spools of translucent come, almost purple from how utterly strung out it is.

Hyunjae is slumped over in a wet heap of his own sweat and come when he comes to. Juyeon is still pounding into him, chasing his own orgasm, and even though his mind is clouded over with a post-orgasmic haze, Hyunjae still feels the same terrified desperation that led him to jump Juyeon to begin with tonight. His parents words, his own fear that he and Juyeon aren’t right for one another, the nightmare of being cripplingly lonely all over again all culminate into his misplacing emotional desperation for sexual desperation.

That’s why, even though he’s so tired he can barely hold himself aloft, he nudges Juyeon to let him sit up. Juyeon quickly helps him, pressing loving kisses into his spine and then his chest when Hyunjae pulls him down onto the bed so that he’s straddling Juyeon’s slender hips. “I’m going to ride your massive cock, Juyeonie,” he rasps, eyes staring into Juyeon’s soul. Juyeon sees some of the wild, unhinged emotion in Hyunjae’s blown-out pupils, but before he can ask him what’s wrong, Hyunjae is rocking his hips quickly as he bounces, whining at the friction of his painfully sensitive half-hard cock against Juyeon’s abs.

Juyeon helps him by thrusting upwards and pulling Hyunjae’s body down onto his length, the two working in tandem so that Juyeon finds himself on the brink of coming in no time. He says as much, grunting out, “Shit, I’m gonna come kitten,” but then Hyunjae is crying out, almost frightened.

“ _No!_ P-please, just a bit longer, I-I’m so close,” he pleads, riding faster.

“Y-you  _what?_ Hyung, I don’t know if I can hold on,” Juyeon’s own eyes are wild now, as he fiercely tries to keep himself from coming, teeth gritting so hard they feel like they’ll shatter.

“Please, please, I’m almost there, just a second longer,” Hyunjae sobs, letting go of Juyeon’s shoulders to tug frantically at his purpling cock. And Juyeon is helpless to deny him, his darling kitten, so he simply helps him continue bouncing on Juyeon’s aching cock, murmuring praises to help him along. “Sh, that’s it baby, so  _pretty_ when you’re so wrecked like this, so pretty when you’re covered in come,” he mumbles deliriously, balls drawn up so tight they hurt. “You can do it, give me  one more hyung,” he commands, pumping desperately up into Hyunjae’s tight heat.

Hyunjae gives a pitchy keen of relief when he finally comes, cock twitching helplessly, an almost painful dry orgasm ripping through his trembling body, and his convulsing channel sends Juyeon hurtling off the edge as his come explodes out of his cock, spurting so furiously that Hyunjae immediately begins to leak even as he trembles through his own orgasm. “Jesus  Christ kitten, so f-fucking  _tight_ ,” Juyeon hisses out into Hyunjae’s sweat soaked neck.

After an age, when Juyeon’s cock has finally stopped pumping thick shots of come, he collapses against the headboard. All he wants to do is fall asleep, but Hyunjae is shivering and whimpering in his lap, barely conscious, so he gingerly pulls the blonde off of his soft cock, hissing at the sensitivity when it falls out. Juyeon runs as quickly as he can on legs that are half asleep to the en-suite, bringing a warm washcloth to wipe Hyunjae down. His kitten looks dead to the world, and Juyeon makes quick work of wiping the come off of his abs, before turning him over to get his bottom. He coos sympathetically as he wipes gently over Hyunjae’s puffy red hole, looking so raw and fucked out as it leaks the rest of Juyeon’s come. Finally, after wiping himself down, he carries Hyunjae over to his guest bedroom, tucking him into the bed as he climbs in himself.

Juyeon knows that they’ll have to talk about what was going on with Hyunjae tomorrow, the untamed, anguished desperation in his eyes, but for now, when he’s on the brink of passing out, all he can do is brush the blonde locks tenderly out of Hyunjae’s sleeping face, before mouthing words he’s never said aloud before but that he means, so so much, into his neck. “I love you,” he presses into Hyunjae’s skin as if hoping to imprint him with it, and then falls asleep with an arm draped over his boyfriend’s curled up body. 

~~ 

When Hyunjae wakes up, he’s being enveloped by strong arms and a familiar sandalwood scent; he smiles, snuggling closer to Juyeon before hissing in pain. Juyeon’s eyes immediately fly open. “What, what happened?” he asks, panicked.

“Nothing you dope, I’m just sore from last night,” Hyunjae laughs, reassuring his scared boyfriend. “Oh,” Juyeon slumps back down, hand over his eyes. “I almost had a heart attack.”

“Sorry sweetheart,” Hyunjae giggles, giving him a kiss. “You really wore me out there.”

“ _I_ wore  _you_ out?” Juyeon asks incredulously, cracking his golden eye open. “Hyung, I don’t think you understand how much willpower it took for me to not come last night after you came _three_ times.” He rolls up onto one arm, face suddenly concerned. “Speaking of which, what was going on?”

“What, a guy can’t want three orgasms in one night?” Hyunjae tries to cover with false bravado, his chest suddenly tight.

“Come on kitten, talk to me. Something is obviously going on,” Juyeon murmurs, carding long fingers through Hyunjae’s hair.

“I...” Hyunjae struggles to find the right words. “I- I really don’t want to talk about it. Please let me figure it out on my own?” he pleads. Juyeon looks at him carefully for a moment, deciding, before sighing and rolling over to spoon the blonde. “Fine, but I’m not happy about it,” he mumbles. “I don’t like feeling so helpless when you’re going through something.”

Hyunjae just hums and runs his fingers lightly up and down Juyeon’s forearms. He doesn’t like feeling so helpless either.

Later that day, after Juyeon has gone home to bring Inna for a checkup, Hyunjae sits in his study with a furrowed brow. How could he tell Juyeon that instead of loving him as they should, his parents were deeply sceptical of the viability of their relationship? He wants to come clean but sees no way of broaching the topic without offending or hurting Juyeon irrevocably. As he’s making a mental pros and cons list, his phone lights up.

Juyeon has sent him a picture of Inna all bundled up in the cute pink sweater Hyunjae bought for her last week. His face lights up as he looks at the sweet picture.

_ Juyeonie _

She looked so cute so she wanted to  
thank  her hyung for her new outfit :-)

_ Hyunjae >^..^< _

Pretty baby!!! But Juyeon seriously please  
stop using those emojis. You’re 24, not  
middle aged

_ Juyeonie _

No cmon I like the nose  
It’s so cute  
Also hyung?

_ Hyunjae >^..^< _

Mhm?

_ Juyeonie _

I wanted to say that I’m always here to  
talk to if you change your mind. Don’t  
feel pressured to, I just wanted  you  
to know

_ Hyunjae >^..^< _

Thanks babe  
I know and it means a lot

~~  
  


Hyunjae is at work when he gets the notification on his phone. It buzzes as he’s typing out an email, so he looks at it distractedly, eyes returning back to what he’s typing when what he read suddenly processes. He grabs the phone again, cold fear settling in the pit of his stomach.

“Breaking News: CRKR CEO and Entertainment Mogul, Lee Jaewoo, Hospitalised After Collapsing at Business Lunch”

As he’s staring at the screen in mute horror, his door flies open to reveal Kevin and Younghoon, their faces pale with fear as well. “I-I have to go,” Hyunjae says in a strangled whisper.

“I already have Mr. Park waiting in the car,” Kevin says quickly, eyes round with terror. “Go, go!”

Younghoon grabs his arm and the two of them run down to the garage, where the driver is indeed waiting in the black Mercedes. As they drive to the hospital, Hyunjae dials and re-dials his mother, chanting in his head over and over, “Please be okay appa, please be okay.” Younghoon sits beside him in stoic silence, their hands clasped together.

When he gets to the hospital, Hyunjae barely blurts out his father’s name before he’s being ushered down a hallway. Younghoon hangs behind to handle the press that have gathered in the waiting room, but Hyunjae can barely think of them as he runs to find his father.

He bursts into the room, expecting to see his father’s pale form lying prone on a hospital bed, but there he is, sitting up and chatting cheerfully with a doctor while his mother stands behind him. Hyunjae is mute with shock until-

“Appa, what the fuck?!” he cries.

“Hyunjae!” his mother scolds immediately. “Did we raise you to curse like that?” Abashed, Hyunjae shakes his head, as he approaches his father’s bed. “Appa, what happened? I saw the headline and I-I thought...” he trails off, the numbing terror slipping back briefly.

“Yah, you should know by now that headlines are often sensationalised,” his father chides gently. “Appa is fine, just a small head rush made me faint. The doctor here thinks I have low blood sugar.”

“Is that true? Have you conducted other tests to make sure?” Hyunjae demands, turning his attention to the physician. “Yes Lee Jaehyun-ssi, we’ve gone through all the routine and special tests alike, your father is fine. His blood sugar is just a little low as he said, so he’ll have to be more careful about eating on time, but other than that, he’s fine,” the doctor replies.

When he slips out to write up the full medical report, Hyunjae sinks onto the bed beside his father, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Silly boy, worrying so much about your appa,” his father says fondly while his mother strokes his hair.

“Hyunjae-ya, this does raise an important issue though,” his father says as Hyunjae sits up. “Clearly, appa is getting older. I’ve been thinking about retiring soon, which means that you’ll have to take up the mantle of CEO of CRKR.”

Hyunjae nods immediately. He’s been preparing for this day his whole life, and even though it’s a little earlier than expected, Hyunjae knows he’s ready to become CEO tomorrow if need be.

“Good boy,” his mother praises him, looking very proud.

“There is one more consideration, though,” his father says slowly. He and his mother exchange looks. “What? What is it?” Hyunjae asks.

“Your appa and I feel that it would not be...wise for you to inherit the company before you’re married,” his mother says softly. Hyunjae looks confusedly at them. “Okay...but it’s not like you’re retiring today or tomorrow appa. You’ll probably start transitioning into retirement late next year or something right?”

His father nods. “Yes that’s true, but weddings take time to plan, son. Do you- er, that is, have you thought about settling down with someone?”

Hyunjae suddenly feels nervous in front of his parents. The conversation they had over afternoon tea a month ago comes rushing back to his mind, and he swallows thickly. “I mean...I haven’t talked about it with Juyeon, but things are pretty serious.” He twists the ring Juyeon gave him anxiously on his finger. His parents eyes are immediately drawn to it, their eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Hyunjae, is that-?”

“No, no! It’s not an engagement ring, eomma, it’s not even on the right finger,” he clarifies hastily. “It’s just a couples ring that Juyeon gave me.”

His mother nods slowly. “That was sweet — it’s a lovely ring,” she says. “So you two...?” Hyunjae understands they unspoken question and shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t know, but I could see us- y’know.”

“Use your words son, I didn’t pay for private school for nothing,” his father says, half-joking. Hyunjae huffs and blurts out, “Married. I could see us getting married,” his face aflame.

“Oh...” his parents’ disappointment is palpable, and Hyunjae can feel tears welling up in his eyes. “What is it? Why don’t you guys like him?” he snaps, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

“It’s not that dear, you know it isn’t,” his mother starts. “It’s just that when you’re the CEO of a company, there’s more to think of than who you’re attracted to in the moment.”

“But that’s not what it is, eomma!” Hyunjae retorts hotly. “Juyeon is an amazing person, and I really lo-” he chokes, flushing even harder. “Like, I really like him.” Did he almost say he  loves  Juyeon? The lack of sleep these days is really getting to him, he thinks.

“And that’s important son, but unfortunately for people like us, there’s more to think about than that!” his father cries impatiently. “Think about the media for one; do you think they’re going to let it go that South Korea’s biggest entertainment firm’s CEO is married to someone who looks like a gangster? Or what about the shareholders? Do you think they’re going to trust their money in the hands of someone who picks a husband willy nilly simply because he’s good-looking? Even if that’s not what your relationship is, it doesn’t matter because that’s exactly what people will think it is!”

“But-”

“But nothing, Hyunjae-ya! Lee Juyeon is a very nice young man, and for regular people he would be a perfectly adequate candidate for a partner, but We. Are. Not. Regular. People!” his father almost shouts, hand slapping the bedside table with each word.

Hyunjae is biting his lip hard enough that it bleeds, fighting back furious tears. His mother looks at him sympathetically, giving his father a warning pinch, before saying, “Appa didn’t mean to lose his temper. We just want what’s best for you Hyunjae-ya. All we ask is that you think long and hard about the future implications of your relationship before you make any decisions, okay?” His father nods in agreement, face flushed, before reaching out to squeeze Hyunjae’s hand. They aren’t the most affectionate family, so from him, Hyunjae knows it’s as close to an “I love you” as he’ll ever get.

He leaves shortly after Younghoon has come to check in on his father, knuckles white where his fingers dig into his palms, eyes still filled with unchecked tears. 

~~

“What happened in there?” Younghoon asks immediately when they’re back in the safe confines of Hyunjae’s office. “The doctor said your dad was fine but you look like you’re gonna throw up, Hyunjae-ya.”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” he mutters. Younghoon scoffs before asking sardonically, “Did you forget that I’ve known you since we were five and that I can see right through your very poor lying?”

Hyunjae sighs, sitting heavily down into his chair while Younghoon lounges in the one across from him. “It’s not a big deal, my parents just brought up the prospect of my dad retiring next year. They think I should get married before I inherit.”

“Okay.” Younghoon says, clearly not understanding. “And this is a problem because...you’re not ready to marry Juyeon?”

“I guess so, although it’s more like I don’t know if I  _could_ marry Juyeon,” Hyunjae replies uneasily, trying to hide his discomfort. “It’s not like we’re that serious or anything.” It’s a bold-faced lie because Hyunjae  _has_ been fantasising about what it would be like to marry Juyeon, to wake up next to him every morning and grow old and wrinkly together.

“What?” Younghoon’s handsome face is contorted in confusion. “It seemed pretty serious to me at dinner a couple months ago and you guys haven’t spent a night apart since you met.”

“I don’t know!” Hyunjae throws his hands up. “I mean, we’re totally different, and our life goals are completely unrelated-” _“_ _Are they though?” _ “-yes, don’t interrupt me, and our backgrounds are polar opposites!” he cries.

“What the fuck does background have to do with anything?” Younghoon asks impatiently.

“Jesus I don’t know, he’s- ugh, not like us.”

Younghoon frowns, and Hyunjae huffs, clarifying, “He’s not- his family isn’t...of the same tier, I guess, as ours are.”

There’s a beat. “And that matters because...” Younghoon prompts.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t fit in. I don’t want to waste my time if there isn’t a future,” Hyunjae mumbles. In the moment, his head, his stubborn, persistent head, wins over his heart, and even though Hyunjae hopes desperately he’ll be right in the end, it doesn’t stop it from hurting so much when he says the words. “I guess I don’t see us ending up together.”

Younghoon let’s out a long sigh. Hyunjae’s always been like this, ever since they were boys, always overthinking and always making decisions that he thinks are right in the moment but that he later comes to regret. He knows Hyunjae doesn’t really believe the harsh, bitter words spilling out of his mouth, but also knows there is nothing he can say to change his mind. Still, he tries valiantly one last time. “Okay, if that’s really what you think. I feel like you should stop self-sabotaging and get over what you  _think_ your future is supposed to look like and enjoy the present.”

He gets up, stroking his hand gently through Hyunjae’s hair before walking out of his office. Hyunjae buries his head in his hands, rubbing the heels into his eyes until he sees spots. He exhales shakily and steels himself before picking up his phone.

“Juyeonie, are you busy right now? We need to talk.” 

~~ 

Juyeon comes ambling into his office not thirty minutes later. “Hey kitten, what’s up? You sounded weird on the phone.” 

He walks behind Hyunjae’s desk to rub his hands affectionately over Hyunjae’s shoulders, giving him a brief massage before spinning him around in his chair to face him.

When he sees Hyunjae’s pale knuckles gripping the arms of the chair and his ashen face, he immediately sinks down on his haunches in front of the blonde, alarmed. “Woah what happened? Is everything okay?”

Hyunjae releases a stuttering breath, running his eyes over Juyeon’s face lovingly as he reaches out with small hands to stroke Juyeon’s cheek. Juyeon immediately engulfs his hands with his own, holding them to his face and giving them a kiss. “Tell me what’s wrong, hyung,” he begs.

“Juyeonie...I...I’ve been thinking a lot recently about our relationship,” Hyunjae starts, shakily. “You’re great, you’re  so great, but I don’t see this, us, going anywhere.” The tears he felt welling up in his eyes spill now, haphazardly running down his face and Hyunjae is entirely unable to stem the flow.

“You...what?” Juyeon asks, his face grey, disbelieving. “What made you- why d- when did you start feeling like this?”

Hyunjae shrugs uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” he mutters. Juyeon chokes on his words then, “ _You don’t know? _What do you mean, you don’t know?”

Defensively, Hyunjae snaps back, “I mean that I don’t know! Maybe I always knew. I mean come on Juyeon, we’re so different, our lives don’t intersect at all, nor do our backgrounds-” Hyunjae knows this is the wrong thing to say as soon as he sees Juyeon’s mismatched eyes darken.

“Our  _backgrounds_?” he asks incredulously. “Why the fuck does that matter to you?”

“I don’t know!” Hyunjae cries back. “I just, this isn’t what I expected from my- I just didn’t expect my future to look like this!” And then he’s slamming his hands down over his mouth, mortified and so heartbroken at the words that have come out unintentionally, tears streaming down his face.

Juyeon swallows thickly, his own eyes glassy. “You mean you didn’t expect your future to look like me,” he corrects bitterly, blinking back tears as he rubs his large hand over his jaw. He takes a heavy breath and then goes to stand. “I wish you had told me earlier, hyung, but I can’t blame you for the way you feel. I’m sorry that this didn’t work out,” he says softly, shoving his curled up fists into his pockets.

“Me too,” Hyunjae whispers, his heart aching so much he can feel it in his throat. “Was there..how should I have told you? Just so I know for the future-” 

Juyeon’s incredulous burst of humourless laughter cuts him off.  “What is this, an exit interview?” he barks. “I don’t fucking know, Hyunjae.”

“Okay, okay I was only asking,” Hyunjae cries, wiping hastily at his tears. Juyeon’s eyes soften as he takes in Hyunjae’s red-rimmed eyes and he gently hands him a handkerchief from his pocket. This only makes Hyunjae sob louder, as he buries his nose into the monogrammed fabric. “I’m gonna go. Take care of yourself, kitten,” Juyeon says in a strangled whisper, unable to bear the sight of Hyunjae crying but also incapable of staying a second longer.

And then he’s gone, disappearing out of the room and Hyunjae’s life, and Hyunjae is all alone again.

~~

Hyunjae’s life is completely colourless now. In the post-Juyeon era as he’s taken to calling it in his head, he barely manages to open his eyes every morning when the alarm rings, dresses himself in whatever clean suit he has before letting his driver bring him to work. It’s a cold, bleak winter, and Hyunjae idly wonders if it’s Mother Nature punishing him or if she’s mourning with him, letting their sadness freeze the city over in an icy frost.

Every day, when he gets to the office, he’s met with the pitying looks of his employees; he grows to despise their expressions and stops making eye contact anytime he’s not in his office alone. Even Kevin who carefully schools his expression to one of blank professionalism every time they interact is driving Hyunjae insane with the little helpful acts he thinks he’s slipping under Hyunjae’s nose, like pre-reading and highlighting reports for him, or putting a tiny bit of melatonin in Hyunjae’s dinner so he sleeps at night. All of their pity only makes the hatred he feels for himself grow, until sometimes it feels like he’s suffocating with self-loathing.

One day, when he reaches his breaking point, he snaps furiously at Kevin who he catches rescheduling meetings so that Hyunjae can go home earlier. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Do I have to fire you for incompetency?” he hisses.

Kevin immediately draws his hand back from his keyboard, quietly responding, “No sir,” with his eyes downcast. The floor is eerily quiet as everyone stares at Hyunjae. He catches his reflection in one of the mirrors, and Hyunjae realises how terrible he looks. His face is gaunt and ashen, his hair lifelessly limp, and he has enormous dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. Suddenly, he realises how terribly he spoke to one of his favourite employees and friend, and he frantically goes to apologise.

“God, Kev, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, that was so awful of me,” he blurts out.

“It’s fine boss-man,” Kevin replies with a smile. “Come on, let’s go to your office.”

As Hyunjae slumps down in his chair, Kevin bustles around to make him a cup of decaf coffee. He hands it to the blonde, sitting down across from him as he does. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, softly.

“There isn’t much to say,” Hyunjae mutters, eyes closed. “I fucked it up. All because I was too fixated on some fabricated notion of the future everyone expects me to have.”

“Have you...thought about apologising?” Kevin asks tentatively. “Juyeon-hyung seems like he’d be the understanding type.”

“He would be, he would be so fucking understanding,” Hyunjae chuckles humourlessly. “How could I let someone as perfect as him settle for an apology from a coward like me?” Kevin doesn’t reply for a second, and the two sit in somber silence. “You’re right, hyung, you’re not perfect, but neither is he. That’s not what love is about,” he says decisively.

“I guess,” Hyunjae grunts. He waves his hand at the younger boy, “Go home Kev, I’ve kept you here late enough the past couple months. Go home to your boyfriend.”

When Kevin looks like he’s about to protest, Hyunjae just fixes him with a glare, so his personal assistant hurriedly scampers out, eager to tell Jacob they can finally have date night again, but still worried about the mourning man he’s leaving behind.

~~

Hyunjae leans over the banister overlooking a local park by his office building. Winter has finally given way to spring, but even though the sun is finally shining, Hyunjae still shivers from the cold. He hasn’t felt warm in months now, he ponders blankly, no matter how well-heated his penthouse is. As he watches the breeze rustle through the trees, a small shadow appears beside him.

“Hello hyung,” a soft voice says to his left. “Long time no see. How’re you?”

Hyunjae turns to look incredulously at Hyunjoon, who speaks as if he’s asking a friend for the weather outside, rather than asking the man who broke his beloved hyung’s heart how he’s doing after months of no contact.

“I’m fine, just fine,” Hyunjae manages. “And you?”

Hyunjoon hums serenely. “Fine as well. Eric has been busy with an upcoming exhibition, and I’m working on a new recital for next spring.”

Hyunjae lets the words process sluggishly in his brain as he considers his next question. “How’s Juyeon?” he asks, finally, tentative but desperate to know.

Hyunjoon’s cool facade cracks then as he whips around to sneer at Hyunjae. “How do you  _think_ he is?”

He nods, feeling panic flood his system and hurriedly turning to leave. “Yes, right, uh- I should probably go,” he mutters.

A pale slender hand shoots out to grab him with surprising strength. “Not yet,” Hyunjoon smiles at him like a cat that’s caught his prey. When he sees that Hyunjae is complying, he releases him. “What’re your plans next weekend?” he asks, pleasantly again, looking back out onto the park.

Hyunjae is dumbfounded. “My plans? Next weekend?” A polite nod. “I don’t have any.” Hyunjoon looks delighted.

“Oh good, here’s a ticket to Juyeonie-hyung’s performance next Saturday,” he thrusts a ticket into Hyunjae’s limp hand. “The dress code is black tie, obviously, but you’re used to that aren’t you? What with your very prestigious upbringing and all that?”

His words send a chill through Hyunjae, and he slumps over the railings, still grasping the ticket. “So Juyeon told you then,” he murmurs.

“Mm, no he actually told us nothing, said you parted on good terms even, but Sunwoo found him piss drunk one night rambling about backgrounds and futures so we sort of pieced it together from that,” Hyunjoon smirks mercilessly.

“I’m sorry. I don’t- I wish I hadn’t said that. I wish I hadn’t said a lot of things actually,” Hyunjae says bitterly. Hyunjoon just hums in response. “You probably all hate me.”

Hyunjoon turns a sharp eye on him, as feline as ever. “You should worry less about what people think of you,” he chides. “What does it matter if I hate you or forgive you or don’t care about you?” When Hyunjae doesn’t respond, the younger boy sighs. “But for the record, I don’t. Juyeon-hyung made it explicitly clear that the breakup was not your fault. Bad timing, he called it. ‘Mismatched lives’” Hyunjoon uses air quotes. “We were all told explicitly to be polite if we ever run into you, although I don’t know how well Sunwoo listened to that last instruction,” he muses. “See you next week, Hyunjae-hyung.”

And with that, he’s floating gracefully away, as if carried off by a gust of spring wind, leaving Hyunjae to consider his parting words. 

He holds onto the ticket like it’s a lifeline for a drowning man.  
  


~~  
  


“I don’t know if I should go,” Hyunjae says for the hundredth time.

“Oh my god, I cannot keep having this conversation with you, especially not when you’re standing right in front of the venue,” Younghoon’s voice comes through his phone’s receiver, tinny and irritable. “Like I said before, go if you think it’ll give you closure, don’t go if you don’t.”

“Yes but-”

“But nothing, I’m literally in the middle of fucking my boyfriend so can you ple-”

“Ew, why the fuck did you pick up the phone you animal?” Hyunjae cries.

“I don’t know, you’ve been so mopey these past few months that I thought it was my duty as your best friend to always pick up!” Younghoon cries back, indignantly.

“Oh god just go please,” Hyunjae responds, hanging up promptly. He steels himself with a deep breath, brushing the imaginary lint off of his tuxedo. He’s going to see Juyeon today, for the first time in months, and his heart feels like it’s going to leap right out of his chest, that’s how hard it’s hammering against his rib cage. Before he can psych himself out of it, he steps into the lavish room. People are milling around drinking champagne before the show starts, and even though everyone in the room makes up the top one percent of Seoul high-society, and he even recognises many faces from other events, Hyunjae has never felt so disconnected from them.

The lights dim, and the intercom announces that the show is about to start. Hyunjae lets himself be led to his seat by the usher, and is about to sit down when he realises he knows every single person in his row. There, sitting with various expressions across their faces, is Eric, Hyunjoon, Sunwoo and Haknyeon. Hyunjoon is eyeing him smugly, while Eric and Haknyeon both give him sympathetic looks, and Sunwoo looks positively livid, his sharp jaw clenching and unclenching as Haknyeon lays a placating hand on his shoulder.

Nervously, he sits down at the end of the row next to Eric. He doesn’t say anything, can’t because his tongue is suddenly a leaden weight in his mouth, and his knuckles are white where he grips the arms of the chair. The lights dim, and the stage is flooded with white light. Hyunjae's mouth goes dry when he sees Juyeon step out, clothed only in dancer’s tights and ballet shoes.

It’s  _so fucking good_ to see him, Hyunjae realises with a muffled gasp. He shoves his hands over his mouth to quell the noise that threatens to bubble out of him. Unbeknownst to him, his seating companions all give him worried looks - Sunwoo included - as they see how plainly Hyunjae’s heartbreak is written on his face.

The music begins, and it’s a traditional ballet piece, which Juyeon dances to with incredible precision, performing spins and leaps with razor-sharp accuracy. Hyunjae stares at him, tears streaming down his face as he marvels at the incredible strength and agility of Juyeon’s body. The audience is completely enraptured by the performance, and when Juyeon performs the last series of dizzying pirouettes, the hall erupts into applause. Juyeon just smiles his charming smile, and Hyunjae scrambles to run his eyes over the handsome face, trying to memorise every detail before it’s taken away again.

A melancholy violin tune whispers through the hall, and the audience immediately quietens down as the next piece begins. The despondent song echoes as Juyeon begins to move, his face crumpling to match the sorrow of the song. It’s a slow piece, and Hyunjae watches as Juyeon’s body twists and writhes, swaying while he dances slowly across the stage. The dance is one of heartbreak, a sad goodbye, and Hyunjae bites his lip so hard he draws blood to keep it from trembling.

He barely notices when the lights dim and the intercom announces that there will be a ten minute intermission, can only dazedly walk out of the hall with his tear stained face, barely holding it together before he stumbles out into the cool night. Eyes blurry, he speed dials Younghoon’s number, and his best friend answers not a ring later.

“Hyunjae-ya, please tell me you actually-”

“I saw him, hyung,” Hyunjae sobs, gripping a lamp post to hold himself up. “I saw him and he danced so well and it was so fucking sad and I ju-” he chokes, unable to go on.

“Ah Hyunjae-ya...” Younghoon murmurs over the phone. “Do you want me and Changmin to come get you? I can be there in fifteen minutes, I haven’t sent Mr. Park home yet.”

“N-No it’s fine, I’m gonna be fine, I want to watch the rest of Juyeon’s performance,” Hyunjae rushes out between hiccups. He checks his watch and blanches when he sees that nine minutes have passed. “Oh shit, I gotta go, it’s starting,” he says, running back to the performance hall and hanging up. Just as he’s about to walk in, the ushers close the door, locking it behind them.

“No! Please, let me in!” Hyunjae cries frantically begging an unmoved attendant at the door.

“Sorry sir, but we can’t-”

The door swings open and a small hand grabs Hyunjae’s wrist. “Friend of Lee Juyeon’s,” Eric explains to the attendant, pulling Hyunjae in with him.

Hyunjae stumbles into the dark auditorium right as the light turns on the stage. Even though the usher grudgingly lets them in, he firmly prevents them from going to sit down, so Hyunjae and Eric stand at the back, far away from the stage and the rest of the audience.

“Thank you Eric,” Hyunjae whispers gratefully. Eric gives him a light smile, “No worries hyung. When I saw you hadn’t come back, I figured you were collecting yourself so I came to get you.” Hyunjae returns his smile sadly.

They both turn to watch the performance as Juyeon begins to move. It’s another melancholy piece, but where the previous one was a tender ode to something lost, this one is full of crushing hurt and torment. Starting off slowly and contorting his body in time to the music, Juyeon gradually speeds up as the music’s beat quickens, a song of mourning turning into a song of raging anguish, and Hyunjae is mesmerised by the way he can  taste Juyeon’s despair as he dances.

“It’s easy to fall in love with him, isn’t it?” Eric asks softly from beside him, breaking his focus. He continues before Hyunjae can respond, “I definitely get it. I was in love with him once.”

Hyunjae gives him a startled look, but Eric just smiles at him before adding reassuringly, “Don’t worry about it, I’m obviously very happy with Hyunjoon now. Besides, I wasn’t the only one. I think all of us in our friend group were in love with Juyeon at one point or another. He’s probably the easiest person in the world to love.”

Hyunjae nods slowly, trying to formulate a response. “How do you stay friends after being in love with someone?”

Eric shrugs, eyes glued to the stage. “I don’t know really. One day I was in love with him, and the next, he told me he loved me like a brother. It hurt so much that I thought I had to get away but...” he pauses to chew on his lip. “Juyeonie-hyung has a funny way of staying in people’s lives. Before you even notice it, he’s made a place for himself right here,” he taps his heart with two fingers, “and he just never leaves. Not because he won’t let you go, but because you’ll find it impossible to imagine life without him.”

Eric continues, as if he isn’t even speaking to Hyunjae anymore and simply musing aloud in the dark auditorium. “He likes to take care of the people around him. At first, it’s kind of startling, the way he cares — we’ve all talked about it behind his back, how we thought he was romantically interested because who goes out of their way to do stuff for people they’ve just met y'know? But he does it like it’s nothing, and I think it  _ is _ nothing to him, like it’s just the way he’s programmed almost.”

Hyunjae nods. He definitely understands that feeling, the mild shock coupled with quiet pleasure at how attentive Juyeon is, as if his whole heart and brain are devoted to thinking of you alone. “You almost get so used to taking from him that it’s hard to remember that he needs stuff too.”

Hyunjae is unsettled at that. In the time they were together, Juyeon never asked anything of him. “What? What does he need?”

“Just love,” Eric replies, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. “I know, it sounds gag-inducing right, like, violently gross,” he makes pulls a face that reminds Hyunjae how much younger Eric really is, “but it’s true. He craves it, I think, can’t really stand to live without loving others and being loved back.”

Hyunjae’s eyes fill with tears, as he listens to Eric’s uncharacteristically soft voice and watches Juyeon’s beautiful form contort on the stage. Did Juyeon love him before they broke up? Or was it too early for him to feel that way? he wondered, heart aching.

Almost as if he heard Hyunjae’s silent question, Eric murmurs back, “Of course, he loves you most of all. We - Sunwoo and me, I suppose really - were a little put out at first; we were so used to being the centre of his world. But then we saw how happy you made him, and of course, if anyone deserves to be loved it’s Juyeon-hyung.”

There’s a roaring in his ears as he processes Eric’s words. He barely registers the fact that Eric uses present tense when saying Juyeon loves Hyunjae, because that must be an accident — how can you love someone who pushed you away so heartlessly? Just then, the performance finishes, and Juyeon leaps across the stage to come crashing painfully onto his knees with a hoarse cry, his back arched in agony, tears, real tears, streaming down his handsome face. The audience watches with bated breath, and then the stage goes black, and the resounding applause is almost deafening. All of Seoul’s high society stands up, dripping in their designer trappings, to clap for the beautiful, heartbroken performer. 

T he lights come back on, and Juyeon is there, standing with his bare chest glistening, tattoos writhing with each heavy breath. He bows shyly, wiping the tears from his eyes, and even though Hyunjae swears there’s no way he could have spotted him among the sea of admirers, there it is, the falter in his step, the pained recognition that makes his eyes flutter shut, golden iris disappearing for a moment.

Hyunjae feels like he’s suffocating, drowning as they stare at each other, so he hurriedly wrenches his gaze away. He scrambles out of the back entrance and not looking back to see Eric watch him go with a smile on his face, single-mindedly focused on the pounding of his dress shoes on the pavement as he runs. He runs and runs, until he sees a vacant taxi, and then he’s jumping in and hoarsely giving the driver his address.

When he stumbles into his apartment, tuxedo jacket already off and half blinded by tears, he collapses immediately into his bedroom, heavy sobs wracking his chest. Who knew finding out someone loved you could hurt so much? Hyunjae reaches frantically around his bed to find the scarf Juyeon never took back, burying his nose into it. The scent has almost faded by now, and the thought that one day the scarf will entirely cease to smell like Juyeon only makes him cry harder. 

As he sits there, cradling it like it’s the most precious thing in the world, the realisation that he doesn’t care about any of the things he thought mattered so much before washes over him. Nothing matters except Juyeon and the scarf he left behind. Not his designer wardrobe, not the society he’s been bred to join, not even the company he has inherited. None of it matters because he’s here alone, and Juyeon is out there, and Juyeon will find someone one day who doesn’t let him go over paltry norms, who sees him as the incredible man he is, and Hyunjae will fade into a distant memory, a mere story of a bad breakup.

Suddenly, he hears heavy knocking on his front door. It must be Younghoon coming to check on him, he thinks dazedly, but before he can go to open the door, it’s unlocking and someone is stepping in. “Younghoonie, I’m fine, you can go home,” he croaks, voice thick with tears.

There’s no response except for footsteps, and his door opens to reveal-

“Juyeon?” he whispers, disbelievingly. “What’re you- how did you get in here?”

“Younghoon gave me your spare key when I ran into him after the performance,” he says gruffly, staring at Hyunjae’s tear stained face. “I think he came to pick you up but I told him you were already gone.”

“O-oh...” he stutters out. “You know, this would be considered trespassing in a court of law.” His weak attempt at a joke falls painfully flat.

“What were you doing at my show tonight?” Juyeon asks bluntly.

Hyunjae stares at him for a moment, before sighing. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to see you. I thought it would help me get over you.”

“And? Did it?” Juyeon almost barks. And Hyunjae’s eyes are filling up with tears again, and it’s all he can do to fight the sobs threatening to come out when he whispers, “No, not at all.”

Juyeon himself heaves a heavy, shuddering sigh. “You...have  _no idea_ what the past few months have been like for me, Hyunjae.” He doesn’t sound accusatory, just utterly worn out with despair. “I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep — the agency almost cancelled my show because I could barely stand for five minutes, let alone remember any choreography.”

“I’m sorry,  _god_ , I’m so sorry Juyeonie,” Hyunjae cries into his knees.

“I felt like I was drowning, Hyunjae. And it’s so pathetic, because even though I’d finally gotten it through my thick skull that you weren’t coming back last week, when I saw you tonight, I felt like I was whole again,” he continues, sounding so tired that Hyunjae wants to reach out for him. “Did- did you feel that too?” he asks, nervously, timidly, like he’s terrified of the answer.

Hyunjae’s head shoots up to stare incredulously at him. “Of _course_ I did,” he says hoarsely. “When I saw you, it was like I could finally breathe.”

“Then why’d you leave me? Why did you leave Hyunjae, for the second time tonight,  _why did you leave me!_ ” Juyeon cries raggedly, sinking to his knees by the doorframe.

“Because I found out  _you loved me_!” Hyunjae shrieks back. “Because Eric told me you loved me and what was I supposed to do with that? What was I supposed to do with the fact that I ruined the  only relationship that’s ever felt right just because I was worried about what some stuffy shareholders of a stupid company I inherited would think?”

Juyeon is staring at him, tears spilling down his cheekbones, when he croaks, “Love.”

“What?” Hyunjae’s grief-addled mind struggles to understand.

“Love. Present tense. I love you.” And even though Hyunjae tore his heart out and crushed his dignity with the heel of a designer boot, Juyeon is still looking at him like he hung the moon and the stars, like no one else exists besides him.

“Y-you what?” Hyunjae thinks he’s dreaming. “ _Why?_ ”

Juyeon shrugs, an almost rueful laugh slipping out. “How could I not?” as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He gets up and walks over to Hyunjae’s prone form, sitting down next to him to gather him in his arms. “I love you, Hyunjae,” he whispers into Hyunjae’s temple. “Even if nothing comes of tonight, even if we stay broken up, I wanted to tell you at least once that I love you.”

Hyunjae lifts a shaky hand to cup Juyeon’s cheek, tenderly wiping away the tears there. Juyeon closes his eyes, as if he’s soaking in the feeling of Hyunjae’s hand on his face. “I-I love you too.” This makes his eyes snap open, as he stares at Hyunjae with wild disbelief and sweet,  such sweet hopefulness that Hyunjae feels like the cold caverns of his heart are being filled by warm sunshine.

“You do?” he asks. “Are you sure? Don’t just say it because I said it, I wasn’t trying to pressure y-”

Hyunjae cuts him off with a kiss, and they both moan into each other’s mouths, missing the way each other’s lips felt. “I do, I do, I love you,” Hyunjae chants between kisses. Juyeon merely buries his head into Hyunjae’s shoulder, squeezing him so tightly like he’s afraid Hyunjae will disappear, his body shaking with shuddering sobs. “God, I’m sorry I’m crying so much, I just didn’t expect to ever hear you say it back,” he rasps into Hyunjae’s neck. Hyunjae strokes his hand through Juyeon’s dark hair, crying openly himself.

He pulls Juyeon’s head back to clasp his face with both hands. “No more heartbreak for us, I promise. No more caring about other people, no more hiding, no more of any of that. It’s you and me, Juyeonie, I promise,” he swears as he wipes at Juyeon’s tears with his thumbs. Juyeon nods and presses desperate kisses into Hyunjae’s bitten lips, lifting him so that Hyunjae’s legs are wrapped around his waist.

He lays them both down, and Hyunjae realises how much he’s missed Juyeon’s solid weight on top of him, and the flare of arousal he gets low in his stomach when he sees the way Juyeon’s mismatched eyes look as he stares down at Hyunjae. “Please, Juyeonie, I-I want...” he mumbles, straining his hips to get some friction.

“What is it baby? Tell me what you need,” Juyeon croons, running a large hand through Hyunjae’s hair.

“I want you to make love to me,” he whispers back, and Juyeon’s hand falters in his hair as he buries his face in it, a soft groan escaping his lips. “Yes, yes, anything for you kitten, always anything for you,” he moans, running his nose up and down Hyunjae’s neck.

He helps Hyunjae out of his shirt and trousers, reverently peeling the clothes back and covering each inch of exposed skin with open mouthed kisses. Hyunjae watches him with hooded eyes filled with adoration and lust, stroking his hand through Juyeon’s dark locks. When Juyeon reaches his weeping cock, he lets out a soft keen as he feels Juyeon’s hot mouth enveloping him. He laps at it softly, as his fingers tenderly fuck Hyunjae’s entrance open, not wanting to overstimulate Hyunjae too quickly. Before he even gets a third finger in, Hyunjae is pulling at him to come up, “No more, I’m ready.”

“Are you sure baby? I don’t want to hurt you,” Juyeon whispers uncertainly. “Yes, yes please-” and Juyeon is helpless to comply, shushing Hyunjae’s whimpering with soft kisses up and down his neck.

After he lathers them both up with lube, Juyeon leans over Hyunjae to begin the steady press in. The slide is slow and painful, and when he finally bottoms out, Hyunjae has tears in his eyes. “God baby, are okay? Do you want me to pull out?” Juyeon asks, worriedly. “No, no just give me a second,” Hyunjae hisses back, waiting for his body to readjust to Juyeon’s size.

Juyeon closes his eyes, his arms shaking with strain as he tries to distract himself from coming. Hyunjae is even tighter than before, likely from the lack of prep and the fact that they haven’t had sex in months, and Juyeon is barely keeping it together as sweat trickles down his brow and onto his jaw. A small, kitten lick makes his eyes fly open to see Hyunjae running his pointy tongue up Juyeon’s jawline.

“ Jesus,  don’t do that when I’m trying not to come,” he grits out, temples throbbing.

“Sorry,” Hyunjae responds, not looking sorry at all. “Move Juyeon, I want to feel you,” he murmurs, rolling his hips. A choked groan escapes Juyeon’s mouth, and then he’s thrusting slowly into Hyunjae’s tight heat.

“Faster, I need it faster,” Hyunjae cries out, eyes screwed shut. “C'mon, want your cock, plea-” Juyeon hurriedly stems his begging by covering his mouth with a kiss, if only for his own restraint, snapping his hips into the blonde man. “Oh  Christ, yes baby like that!” Hyunjae screams into Juyeon’s mouth.

“Fuck, so needy aren’t you baby, such a needy kitten for my cock,” Juyeon grunts out, thrusting his hips while Hyunjae digs sharp heels into his ass. “Yes, yes so needy, missed your cock in me,” Hyunjae pants, sobbing as he feels Juyeon pound into his prostrate.

“Whose cock did you miss, kitten, tell me again,” Juyeon says gruffly into Hyunjae’s skin. “Yours, yours!” he shrieks back, baring his neck.

“And who do you belong to? Tell me,  _ who do you belong to? _ ” Juyeon hisses poisonously, slamming his cock into Hyunjae. “ _ Answer me! _ ” he snarls, when Hyunjae doesn’t respond quickly enough.

“ _You, I belong to you!_ ” Hyunjae sobs pitifully, and when Juyeon grunts, “That’s  _right_ , pretty baby, you belong to  _me_ ,” he can only nod helplessly between whines.

“ _God, _ I’m so close, please make me come,” he wails, body thrashing underneath Juyeon’s pistoning one. When he goes to reach for his aching cock, however, Juyeon slaps his hands away, balancing his body on one arm so that he can grab Hyunjae’s jaw roughly. “No touching, kitten, I want to watch you come from my cock alone,” he hisses.

Hyunjae can only shriek in response, hips bucking furiously as he chases his orgasm. “I can’t, Juyeonie, I can’t, I need-”

“Yes you fucking can, and you will, baby, you’re going to come for me. Right. Fucking.  _Now_.” Juyeon bites down on Hyunjae’s neck, and Hyunjae’s body responds immediately to the command of its owner, as he seizes, back arching impossibly high while his cock spasms intensely. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Juyeonie, 's t-too much, oh god!” he screams.

“ _Mine_ ,” Juyeon snarls back biting down again on Hyunjae’s pale collarbone, sucking punishingly hard so that his skin immediately blooms red. “Yours,” Hyunjae sobs pathetically, come spattering his abs, chest and chin as Juyeon croons soft praises into his temple —  _so pretty baby, so lovely when you come for me, such a good kitten coming on my cock_.

Juyeon, still thrusting and chasing his own orgasm, cups a hand behind Hyunjae’s head to kiss him, their tongues thrashing against one another’s. “Fuck baby, I’m gonna come, gonna come in your pretty little hole, would you like that kitten? Would you like me to make you messy inside with my come, pretty baby?” he grunts into Hyunjae’s mouth.

He nods frantically back, whimpering, “Yes please, come inside me, I want you to, love your cock so much, love you so much,” making Juyeon groan loudly, his rhythm faltering for a second. “Shit, say it again kitten, say that again.” And Hyunjae doesn’t have to ask what he means, knows instinctually, as if it’s written in his bones, what Juyeon wants to hear.

“I love you Juyeon, I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chants, touching his nose to Juyeon’s and gripping his hair with his small hands.

“God, I love you too, mine- my darling-  _god!_ ” Juyeon cries out, balls drawing up as he comes deep into Hyunjae’s tight hole, hips stuttering while he rides out his orgasm. When his cock finally stops twitching inside of Hyunjae, he rolls them over so that the blonde is lying on his chest, the two of them panting. Idly, Hyunjae runs his fingers through the smattering of hair on Juyeon’s chest, soaking in Juyeon’s laugh that he never thought he’d hear again.

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

“Whatever for?” Juyeon asks. 

Hyunjae squirms a little in embarrassment. “For coming back to me.”

An adoring smile stretches across Juyeon's face. “Of course. I could never let you go, kitten.”  
  


~~

  
And for the rest of their lives, Juyeon never does. Even when Hyunjae goes back to his parents to nervously but decisively tell them that he’s made his decision, and he chooses Juyeon, no matter the consequences, Juyeon is there holding his hand the whole time. His parents simply look at the two young men standing before them, hands clasped tightly, and sigh, resignedly accepting. When Hyunjae and Juyeon go to leave however, Juyeon turns back and takes his mother’s hand into his, much to her surprise.

“Ajumeoni,” he begins, and Hyunjae’s mother’s eyes soften a fraction when she sees how polite Juyeon is, “I know you’re worried about your son. I don’t blame you — I would be too if my only son came home with someone looking like me.” Hyunjae’s parents nod to fill the pause. “But please know that as long as I’m alive, Hyunjae will never be unloved, will never be hungry, will never be cold, because I will  _always_ be there to take care of him. I will probably never be as successful as you, Lee Jaewoo-ssi, but I promise you, I make a good living, and I will show you that I am a good partner to Hyunjae.”

His parents are a little speechless at the ardent earnestness they hear in Juyeon’s voice, and Hyunjae can only muffle a pathetic sob into the handkerchief Juyeon gave him as Juyeon bows one last time to his parents and leads him out of their living room by the shoulders.

With time, Hyunjae’s parents, like everyone whose life is touched by Juyeon’s light, come to love him as much their son does. Of course, it helps that Juyeon’s performance was an unparalleled success, spawning a series of projects that keep him busy - and reportedly, well paid - for the years to come. But more than that, Juyeon’s unfailing kindness and love for their son finally leads them to understand the depth of the two’s feelings for one another. 

Even when Hyunjae’s father snaps agitatedly at Juyeon one time for not understanding the world of business, Juyeon’s gentle smile and placating humility soothe his parents, even as Hyunjae is vibrating with fury beside him. At their wedding a year and a half later, Hyunjae’s mother kisses Juyeon softly on the cheek, and thanks him for taking care of her darling boy. Juyeon just kisses her back, and thanks her for taking care of him so well all these years, a compliment which makes her promptly burst into tears. Naturally, Juyeon has an extra handkerchief for her, even on his own wedding day.

Their friends are collectively overjoyed that they’ve finally gotten back together. Unbeknownst to the two, they form a group chat the day after the announcement solely for the purpose of complaining about Juyeon and Hyunjae and how they put them all through the wringer with their “ _high school K-drama bullshit_ ” (Changmin). When Hyunjae finds out, he sneers at them while they’re all in  _his_ living room eating  _his_ food, calling them snakes. There’s a collective shrug, and Jacob, who is lounging on Kevin and has an arm slung around Sangyeon who has Chanhee on his lap who is stroking Sunwoo’s hair, ruefully responds, “You have to admit that it sounds sort of like a fanfiction.” 

Then the focus is off of Hyunjae and Juyeon, because Changmin is clamouring to know how Jacob knows what fanfictions are, and Haknyeon is being muffled with a pillow by Kevin who valiantly steps in to protect his boyfriend’s secret. Juyeon merely laughs as he watches their antics, pressing tender butterfly kisses to Hyunjae’s temple as the blonde leans against him, sighing contentedly for the first time in a while.

Life has its ups and downs, and even though Hyunjae and Juyeon inevitably fight — about small things, like if Inna should transition to a fully organic diet, and about big things, like whether their marriage will affect Hyunjae’s company — they always make up before the night is over, crawling into bed together, words of apology and love spilling from their lips.

And through it all, through laughter and tears, stock value drops and rises, through marriage, and adoption, and old-age, Juyeon is right there by Hyunjae’s side. And he never lets him go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> If you want to chat or get updates on my work, come find me on Twitter (link in profile)!


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